File photo: Some alleged killers arrestedThe Presidency has expressed surprise that Nigerian media went to sleep when the Nigeria Police arrested five suspected killers, namely, Manga Husseini, David Akenawe, Agada Tsesaa, Tarza Orvanya and Ngyohov Shin, of two Rev Fathers in Benue state.
“The mostly sleeping Nigerian media, for reason explained to the nation by one of our veteran journalists, did not consider it “Breaking News,” said the Presidency.
In a statement posted on her Facebook page titled CHRISTIAN ASSOCIATION OF NIGERIA (CAN), NOT IN TALKING TERMS WITH GOD!, the President Muhammadu Buhari’s social media aide, Mrs. Lauretta Onochie said that the media was nowhere to be found and could not even engage in their usual “Cut and paste.”
“This is a bid to demarket President Muhammadu Buhari, a man elected to salvage a nation that it’s ruination was backed by unrighteous men parading themselves as Christians. The CAN of worms that reaps from the bloody trade that is going on in our nation did not deem it fit to pat the security operatives on the back.
“Why would they? The Cankerworm Association of Nigeria, previously known as “Christian” Association of Nigeria, had achieved its aim, using the blood of two innocent Catholic Priests, to bring back the Catholic Church to their unrighteous fold.
“The lives of those two innocent Priests were pawns in the desperate game by certain evil former Landlords of our nation, who are in bed with the demonic Cankerworms and purveyor of hate messages and fake news. It was in the hey days of the Jonathan administration. Sin was in vogue. Corruption was the currency of trade for the association of partakers of stolen funds otherwise and regrettably known as Christian Association of Nigeria.
“It was very fashionable to commit atrocities and be honoured with a front seat in church and a title. But the Catholic Church in Nigeria would have none of it. The Catholic Bishops decided to quit the unholy organization CAN, as there was no more Christianity in the Christian Association of Nigeria.
“They cited poor leadership and POLITICISATION of the association. The Catholics further went on to add that some attitudes, utterances and actions of the national leadership of CAN which in their opinion negate the concept of the foundation of the association and the desire of Our Lord Jesus Christ, made it impossible for them to continue in the same organization as unrighteous people. And then, as if in answered prayer for the Catholics, Nigerians rallied round Muhammadu Buhari, a man of honour and integrity, sacking the government that fed the greed of the CAN of worms who constantly received stolen funds meant to make the lives of Nigerians better and easier.
“This made the Tape worms very unhappy. They began to plot to bring back the Catholic Church to their fold. Their silence was deafening when IPOB tried to destabilize the country. So when IPOB suddenly dumped Christianity for Judaism, watchers alleged that the Worms had not been able to meet their financial obligations to IPOB.”
