I decided that night that I had had enough of Kenny’s erratic behaviour and we needed counseling. I waited for him to come home the next morning but he never showed up. I called him around noon when I was getting worried but he did not pick my call. I got a text shortly after saying,
”I am quite surprised you are looking for me. Don’t worry, I am fine. Don’t let me distract you from God”.
I decided it was time to seek counsel from my pastor’s wife.
As I sat down with Mummy as we normally call her that evening after a word of prayer and recounted the full story of our challenges from the beginning of the fasting period. I was quite hopeful that I will get solutions on the next step to take. Mummy looked at me and shook her head as I showed her the last text I got from Kenny from my phone.
”Sister Lola, what does the Bible say about our parents and honour?”
”Honour your father and mother, that your days might be long” I quickly replied wondering why we were talking about my parents when it was my marriage that needed healing.
”Do you remember when you came to me and decided you wanted to marry this young man who was barely a baby in the lord. I warned you to look for giants in the spirit. If you had honoured my words, surely the days of your marriage would have been long”, she said with obvious annoyance.
”I am sorry mummy, I love my husband and I think he loves God too”
”He loves God? You are still defending his actions? A man that cannot agree with you in prayer? That will not deny his body to feed his spirit? She asked me.
”I am sorry ma” I quickly said. Mummy was known for her short temper and I did not want to get on her bad side.
”Anyway the deed has been done. We need to find a way forward. You see the devil is not resting. He is obviously seeking to devour your marriage. Remember the scripture in Ephesians 6: 12 says, we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers and against the rulers of the darkness of this world. The battle is not with your husband. It is a fight in the spirit”.
”Okay ma” I said.
”The devil knows this fast is going to liberate your marriage and he wants to stop it at all cost. The flesh will be satisfied eventually but you need to be spiritually fortified first. So make sure you complete it in total consecration to God”.
”Okay ma. What do I now do about his refusal to come home ma?”
”Oh don’t worry Lola, he will come home. He is like the prodigal son, he will surely return. Let us pray my dear”.
By the time I left my pastor’s house after about two hours of prayer. I felt stronger and better. Kenny was just over reacting and I was definitely on the right course. I just needed to keep praying and not let my faith be shaken. When I got home and met Kenny relaxing in the sitting room, it confirmed to me that everything mummy said was correct since he returned like she had prophesied.
As the days passed things got more estranged. Kenny stopped going to our church and demanded I move to this new church he found. Of course I vehemently refused. It is important to be grounded and not church belly-hopping. I got daily text motivations from my mummy in the lord and that just encouraged me.
Finally the last day of the 100 days came and it was announced in church that couples should endeavour to attend together since there was going to be an all night prayer. I begged and pleaded with Kenny but he adamantly refused. I went to church alone that night and prayed every prayer possible. My joy knew no bounds the next morning because I knew that all the fight I had been having with Kenny was finally going to be over. I was going to make sure we had as much sex as he wanted later that night.
It has been a week since I finished fasting and Kenny has still not spent a single night in the house. Every morning he came home to dress for work and didn’t come home till the next morning. Every morning I met him at the door begging and cajoling but it was always the same. He totally ignored me, walked past into the guest room and walked back out once he was done changing cloths and having his bath. Not one word was ever said in acknowledgment.
I began to think I probably should have compromised during the 100 days. I did not expect him to take it this far. I did not even know what plausible solution I could execute. I knew sex was a big deal to men but it was always painful for me anyway so I was never all excited about it. On our wedding night, when Kenny deflowered me, I thought I was only going to feel the pain for less than a week but it has been six months and every single intimacy we have had was laced with very uncomfortable pain. Chauvinist as Kenny was, he felt I was just making a mountain out of a molehill and sex could not be as painful as I was making it to be. Truth was if not for the sake of procreation I was comfortable not having sex ever. The hype is definitely more than the experience.
I finally decided that maybe some physical solution was needed since the spiritual was not solving Kenny and I’s problem. I went to Google that afternoon as I got home from work and searched ” how to stop painful sex”. As soon as I finished reading of different positions to do to ease the pain and how the pain was coming from my mind. I made a few decisions on making sure sex became enjoyable. Next, I Googled, ”how to seduce your husband and I felt so uncomfortable with the sheer number of unholy things I discovered. I decided to take a bold step and put some things I found to practice to ensure Kenny finally stayed home for the night. As alien as it felt, I typed some steamy texts I found online to Kenny at one hour interval each,
”I am burning with desire for you honey”
When I did not get any response an hour later, I sent another one I found online,
”I can’t focus, all I can think about is what you will do to me if you were here with me”
Still no response, I sent this 30 minutes later,
”You taught me how to make love, tonight I will show you how much I have learnt”
I got a response after this saying,
”Please I am in a meeting with the board”
I was so happy I literally jumped up from my seat. This was the only statement Kenny had sent to me in a week and I decided to send more.
”Just thinking about you inside of me…”
He responded immediately,
”Stop this rubbish Omolola”
I decided I had had enough of Google and composed one text message of my own.
”Please come home and stay tonight. I accept I was wrong. I want to make it right and make it up to you. Please give me a chance, I love you baby”.
He responded simply with,
”Okay”
I was so happy and I quickly jumped up from the couch and drove to the supermarket. I bought a new matching lingerie, a foot massage kit and also full body massage oil. I had read on Google that massaging the foot and body could do wonders in pointing in the right direction. I also bought a lubricator. Google had taught me so much. I immediately rushed home after and prepared fried rice with plantain and peppered chicken for Kenny. By 8pm, I was finally done and ready for him to walk in. I sat on the sofa in my lingerie and the table was already set. I tried calling Kenny but his phone was off so I waited.
I must have slept off on the sofa because the sound of the door being opened woke me up the next morning at about 7am. Kenny never showed up last night. He walked in and paused for a minute staring at me before walking past as usual to the guest room. I sat down in frustration and cried so hard. I was still crying when he left the door.
On Saturday morning when Kenny walked into the house, I had decided enough was enough and I was not going to pay for my sins forever. He had no right whatsoever to keep sleeping outside the house under the guise of anger. I was already waiting for him and as soon as he stepped in, I just blew up,
”Where do you think you are coming from oga?” I shouted.
He looked at me like I had suddenly grown two heads and to my surprise he replied, ”Sunrise hotel”.
”Is that where you have been staying?” I asked unsure. Not expecting him to answer in the first place.
”Yes I got a room there” he answered and looked at me, ”Is that all? he asked.
”No, that is not all Kenny and don’t make me feel stupid. You have been sleeping outside for the past three weeks and now I am questioning you, you’re acting ignorant” I was truly bewildered.
”Madam, you asked me where I have been and I answered you. How am I acting ignorant?”
”Kenny, once again, I am sorry”.
”Okay I have heard. Just to be clear though, what exactly are you sorry for?”
”Well, I am sorry for depriving you of sex and fasting without your agreement. I am sorry for being inconsiderate of your feelings. Please can we just go back to how we were?”
”Okay, I have heard you” he said with a straight face.
”Kenny, please now. What else do you want me to say or do?”
”Lola I said I have heard. Please don’t stress me. I want to ride around the estate on my bicycle for a while. Is that okay?”
”Okay, that is fine. Do you promise to stay at home from today?” I asked
”Yes, I will. So can I go change and head out now?”
I nodded and got out of his way and he immediately went to the room and changed into his riding outfit. He always looked so handsome in his tights and t-shirt whenever he wanted to exercise and watching him come out of the bedroom, I went to give him a hug half expecting him to turn me away but he gave me a very lingering hug and left soon afterwards. I was so giddy from the obvious reconciliation, I decided to cook something nice for his breakfast when he returned.
A little over thirty minutes later, I got the call that changed my life forever. With tears in my eyes not knowing what to expect, I grabbed my car keys and rushed out of the house to the hospital address I had been given. I still could not believe my ears that Kenny had been in an accident. He just left home barely 30 minutes earlier. The caller was unable to give details of the severity of the accident or what happened. As I drove out and met with traffic, I tried calling his number back to get more details but it was switched off. I contemplated calling family and friends but I decided to know the status of his health before calling anybody.
”Oh Lord, help me. You said we shall not die God, please keep my husband. I will not be a widow in my youth oh lord.”
Words of prayer failed me. I did not even know how to pray. Almost an hour later, I finally drove into the hospital compound and ran inside with deep fear, not knowing what to expect.
About Eight hours after, I finally sat in the office of the doctor to get a detailed explanation on Kenny’s condition. All I had been told as I waited was that he was alive and he had been taken in for ultrasound and later for surgery. The nurses refused to tell me the severity of the accident and I had brought hell down screaming and shouting. Eventually, I called my sister-in-law who came to wait with me and was able to calm me down. I had to leave the hospital briefly to use the cash machine and make some monetary deposits but aside from that I had been unable to drink even a drop of water.
”Mrs. Ayorinde, thank you so much for your patience” the doctor started, but I quickly cut him short
”Sir, please just go straight to the point, how is he? What happened? What was the surgery for? Is he okay? Did the surgery go well?”
”Madam, I will answer all your questions but I need you to relax a bit”
”Okay, please go on” I said.
”Your husband is fine and the surgery was successful. He suffered from testicular trauma as a result of the force of his testicles on the bicycle when the accident occurred”
”Jesus Christ!!!!! see trouble.. What do you mean testicular trauma? He doesn’t have testicles again? How are we supposed to have children now? Haaaaaaa Kenny will kill me”.
”Please relax and let’s not jump the gun here. I didn’t say he doesn’t have testicles again. There was just some rupture and dislocation as well and that is why we had to do an immediate surgery. It has been successfully fixed now and we are hopeful that there should be no cause for infertility in the nearest future. Of course, we will advise that he stays off sexual activity for a while until he is properly healed to avoid him developing hernia. He should be fine within a week.”
”Okay doctor, thank you so much. So when will we be discharged”.
”I will want to just observe him overnight to be sure he is okay. He should be able to go home tomorrow”.
We eventually got home the next day after staying in the hospital all night. His sister left us in the hospital later in the evening after confirming that Kenny was okay. Kenny was withdrawn and quiet and it felt like the cycle had started again. It was still surreal that it was just yesterday morning we agreed to call a truce and it felt like that did not even happen.
”Darling are you okay? I asked after he had settled down on the bed”
”Lola, no I am not okay. You know what? I regret marrying you. I don’t feel like the man that found a wife and found a good thing because it’s like your sole purpose is to cause me sorrow and sadness”.
My mouth was agape. I just did not understand the reason for such anonymity.
”You know when I decided to marry you I had a plan. I knew what I wanted. I wanted a woman who will love me and make me happy. I wanted a life of joy and happiness. I wanted to build fun memories of just the two of us even outside the kids but I have not had any of that with you. It’s from one problem to another. We have been married for just 9 months and already I am tired”
”Kenny, why will you say all these to me? Why? What exactly have I done to destroy your so called happiness so much?”
”Immediately after the wedding, it took about 2 weeks for you to even calm down enough to let me deflower you. As soon as that was over, you got fixated about pregnancy making sex totally boring. When I was talking to you about just enjoying each other and having fun, all you did was lie down there missionary style claiming that is the best way to get pregnant. After five months of that, you went into your so called fasting period and now because of all the frustration you have put me through, I went to ride my bicycle just to vent and got into an accident? Did you know it was because I was thinking about you that I lost concentration? And to crown it all, it’s like the devil was trying to crack a joke, testicular trauma? I am tired madam”
I sat there in silence not knowing what to say and after a while I just got angry.
”How dare you Kenny? How can you blame me for your sadness or so called unhappiness? I wake up daily praying for you and this is how you repay me? Was it not when you married me your business went from struggling and started excelling and you dare insult me? I wont let the devil use you more than he already has. This conversation is over. Do whatever you want”. I stood up from his side and walked out of the bedroom with deep confusion in my heart. For the first time I wondered if it would not have been better I kept quiet.
to be concluded.[myad]
