Special Adviser to former President Goodluck Jonathan on media and publicity, Dr. Reuben Abati, danced his heart out with wife, Omolara, who came all the way from London to throw a party as her husband turned 50. Cheers to the golden age celebrant.
Group pix at the celebration of life, with Dr. Abati
Dr. Abati and wife, Omolara in the previous outing in native attires. [myad]
The social media Director of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Deji Adeyanju has described the former Senate President, David Mark and others who have been praising President Muhammadu Buhari as cowards and boot leakers.
In a write up which he circulated today to news media, Adeyanju , alleged that Senator Mark is suddenly afraid that if he does not patronize president Buhari and sing his praises he might not win the re-run election for his Benue South senatorial district.
Adeyanju recalled how recently, Senators Stella Oduah and Ben Murray Bruce were singing the praises of Buhari over the budget presentation.
“A budget that failed to meet the expectations of Nigerians, address core issues of the economy, unemployment and insecurity; an unrealistic budget, and a budget that has been termed a fraud by our great party, the PDP, but only for our elected senators to take a disparagingly different view from the official position of the party and turn around to praise the president.
“It is disheartening to read some of the comments by people who are supposed to be strong opposition figures in our nation. What these our leaders do not seem to understand is that you do not patronize dictators or appeal to them. You challenge them, you dare them to their faces. You face them squarely. Dictators get emboldened when they see that you are afraid of them. It is the collective responsibility of the oppressed and the victimized to challenge every dictator and see to the quick change of such dictatorial regimes through any legal means possible and not to be begging and appealing to them.”
He admitted that Senators Stella Oduah and Ben Murray Bruce have the right to express their personal opinions on the budget and other national issues “but I disagree with this assertion completely. Will a Republican or Labor party senator in the United States of America or United Kingdom disagree with the official position of his party on a fundamental issue such as this and make it public? The answer is never! Senators Ben Bruce and Stella Oduah are no longer private citizens but elected members of the National Assembly on the platform of the People’s Democratic Party. They would not have become senators if not for the party on whose platform they contested and won the election.”
Adeyanju insisted that no elected member of the PDP should publicly go against the official position of the party which he said is the worst form of indiscipline a politician can demonstrate. “Since independent candidacy is not recognized in our constitution, political parties are the vehicles by which many aspirants ride to power and as such these politicians can not continue to deride the platform on which they got to power.
“Have you ever seen or read any APC member going against the official position of their party? If you are afraid of Buhari because you embezzled public funds or have some skeletons in your cupboard while you were in government and cannot speak boldly like an opposition member, why do you not just go and join Buhari in APC like Rotimi Amaechi and others who today have immunity from prosecution because they defected to APC?
“If you really like the leadership style of Buhari why not go and join him in the APC? You should not be in our great party and be demoralizing our teeming members and supporters.
“The Olisa Metuhs, Ayo Fayoses and Femi Fani-Kayodes’ way is the only way to go. Face the dictator, look at him straight in the eyes and tell him to go straight to hell where he rightly belongs. When a terrorist group like the Boko Haram apprehends someone they believe to be an unbeliever, “kafir”, and they want to behead him, it would make absolutely no sense to start begging or appealing to them. What is expected of you to do is to look them straight in the eyes and spit on their ugly faces, then face death bravely and courageously knowing full well that you are going to meet your Heavenly Father, and that angels would rejoice when they see you. It will be despicable of you to be in that ugly situation, then you deny the faith, you begin to beg them, start appealing and accept their own belief. No matter the volume of your tears, pleadings and compromise, they would still behead you.
“I therefore urge the leadership of the People’s Democratic Party, to henceforth, sound a clear note of warning to every elected member of our party never to go against the official position of the party and be ready to take disciplinary measures against anyone that flouts this warning. Political parties can not be administered without party discipline.” [myad]
Some residents of Zaria in Kaduna state, have narrated how for about 20 years, the leader of the Islamic Movement in Nigeria, otherwise known as Shiites, Sheikh Ibraheemm El-ZakZaky allegedly ran a parallel government and, together with members of the group, held them hostage.
Spokesman of the residents, Alhaji Idris Mohammed Baba, who addressed news men today in Kaduna, said that the Shiites had held them in Zaria and Sabon Gari local government areas hostage with impunity, as they allegedly operated a parallel government.
Idris, who however described the recent killing of members of the sect in recent clash with the Nigerian army as unfortunate, called on the Federal Government to urgently call the Sheikh Ibraheem El-Zakzaky-led movement in their communities to order in the interest of peace and stability.
He recalled that sometimes in May 2015, 24 youths in the Gyellesu area of Zaria where Sheikh Zakzaky is resident, were declared persona non grata for daring to challenge the impunity being allegedly perpetrated by members of the sect.
Narrating the ordeals of residents of Zaria in the hands of the sect members for over 20 years, Baba alleged that at some point, the sect members even threatened to kill him. [myad]
The Minister of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), Mallam Muhammad Musa Bello has made it clear that he would consolidate on the prevailing inter-religious harmony being enjoyed in FCT.
The Minister who made spoke when he received a delegation of religious and traditional rulers who paid him Christmas homage at his Abuja residence, noted that the visit signified mutual respect between FCTA, eminent religious and community leaders in Abuja.
According to the minister, Christmas celebration which coincided with the Muslim’s Friday service was ordained by God as a sign for the two religious bodies to stay together in peace and harmony.
He charged leaders and the residents of FCT to thank God for His blessings to Nigeria.
Muhammad Bello also tasked them to renew their support and prayers for President Muhammadu Buhari to enable him achieve what he promised Nigerians. [myad]
The Director General of the National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA), Alhaji Mohammed Sani-Sidi, has said that Nigerian troops have liberated all communities from the grip of dreaded sect, Boko Haram.
Sani-Sidi who spoke last night at an awards ceremony organized by the Northern Youth Council in Kaduna, Kaduna State, commended President Muhammadu Buhari-led administration for reducing the work of the emergency agency from dealing with emergency situations to just the rehabilitation of victims of all kinds of emergencies.
He emphasized that Boko Haram can no longer lay claim to the control of any community, adding: “There is no community that has not been liberated from Boko Haram now.
“We should thank our soldiers and the commitment of President Muhammadu Buhari to making sure this has come to pass.”
The NEMA boss said that the Agency is already rehabilitating victims of the insurgency and that it would be through with the task soon also with the support of the government.
He said that at the moment, no victim of the Boko Haram insurgency was being brought to the Internally Displaced Persons camp all over the North East again, adding: “We are soon getting over with the emergency issues.
“We are heading towards rehabilitation of IDPs instead.
“The government is working with various international agencies to make sure those at the IDPs camps are fully rehabilitated.”
Sani-Sidi was honoured by the NYC with the award of Ambassador of Hope.
He dedicated the award to the staff of NEMA and the displaced persons. [myad]
Jesus was born on the Feast of Tabernacles. He was not born on “Christmas Day.”
Jesus was not born on December 25. That is the date of a pagan festival of the sun god Tammuz merged with Christianity under Constantine. However, the evidence is overwhelming that Jesus was born during the Feast of Tabernacles.
Coming of Elijah
Zachariah, John the Baptist’s father, was ministering in the Temple when an angel told him he would have a son. He belonged to “the priestly group of Abijah.” (Luke 1:5). Abijah was eighth in line according to the Jewish time-table for priests ministering in the Temple: “The first lot fell to Jehoiarib, the second to Jedaiah, the third to Harim, the fourth to Seorim, the fifth to Malchijah, the sixth to Mijamin, the seventh to Hakkoz, the eighth to Abijah.” (1 Chronicles 24:7-10).
That means Zechariah would have been ministering in the Temple in June, when it was officially the turn of Abijah. If his wife therefore conceived in June, John the Baptist would have been born around March the next year during the Passover. It is the Jewish tradition to reserve a special glass of wine for Elijah during the Passover meal, in expectation of his attendance. So it makes sense for John the Baptist to be born during the Passover.
The angel told Zachariah John the Baptist would come “in the spirit and power of Elijah.” (Luke 1:17). Indeed, Jesus confirms that John the Baptist is the expected Elijah. He told the disciples: “‘Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him, but did to him whatever they pleased. So also the Son of Man will certainly suffer at their hands.’ Then the disciples understood that he was speaking to them of John the Baptist.” (Matthew 17:11-13).
Birth of the Messiah
If John the Baptist was born during the Passover, then Jesus must have been born during the Feast of Tabernacles. There are six months between both feasts, and we are told Mary became pregnant six months after John’s mother, Elizabeth:
“(Zechariah’s) wife was expecting a baby, and for five months she did not leave the house. She said to herself, ‘What the Lord has done for me will keep people from looking down on me.’ One month later God sent the angel Gabriel to the town of Nazareth in Galilee with a message for a virgin named Mary.” (Luke 1:24-27). “Your relative Elizabeth is also going to have a son, even though she is old. No one thought she could ever have a baby, but in three months she will have a son.” (Luke 1:36).
Think about it. Does it not make perfect sense that “the light of the world” should be born during the “Festival of Lights;” when lamps illuminate the entire city of Jerusalem? That is the Feast of Tabernacles. It is also known as “the Season of our Joy;” so it makes sense for the angel to tell the shepherds he brings “good tidings of great joy” concerning Jesus’ birth during the joyful season of the Feast of Tabernacles:
The angel said: “Behold, I give to you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For to you is born today, in the city of David, a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” (Luke 2:10-11).
International feast
Quite appropriately, the Feast of Tabernacles is the only Jewish festival which is for “all people,” both Jews and non-Jews. It is for all the families of the earth:
“It shall be, everyone who is left of all the nations which came up against Jerusalem shall go up from year to year to worship the King, Jehovah of Hosts, and to keep the Feast of Tabernacles. And it shall be, whoever will not come up from all the families of the earth to Jerusalem to worship the King, Jehovah of Hosts, even on them shall be no rain.” (Zechariah 14:16-19).
The Feast of Tabernacles is also known as “the Festival of the Nations;” showing it is not exclusively for the Jewish nation. All the men of Israel are required to come to Jerusalem to observe the Feast of Tabernacles: “Three times in a year shall all your males appear before Jehovah your God in the place which He shall choose: in the Feast of Unleavened Bread, and in the Feast of Weeks, and in the Feast of Tabernacles.” (Deuteronomy 16:16).
This means Jerusalem becomes filled up with visitors during the festival, and they spill over into the surrounding regions including Bethlehem, which is only about five miles away. As a result, there is likely to be a shortage of guest-houses in Bethlehem; accounting for the difficulty of Mary and Joseph in finding suitable accommodation.
Tabernacle of God
In writing about the incarnation of Jesus, John employs the terminology of tabernacles. He says the Word became flesh and “tabernacled” among us. (John 1:14). Indeed, one of Jesus’ spiritual names means “God with us:” “‘A virgin will have a baby boy, and he will be called Immanuel,’ which means ‘God is with us.’” (Matthew 1:22-23). It therefore makes sense that God would choose to come down to earth in the person of Jesus Christ to tabernacle with men during the Feast of Tabernacles.
It is also quite conceivable that the wise men from the east were Jewish rabbis, anticipating the coming of the Messiah according to Daniel’s prophecy. (Daniel 9:24). At the time of Jesus’ birth, the largest Jewish population was not in Palestine but in Babylon, where they had been carried into exile by Nebuchadnezzar. Babylon is east of Palestine; and a “magi” or wise man is another expression for a “rabbi.” Daniel for example, who was named Belteshazzar, was regarded as one of the magi of his time. (Daniel 4:9).
Star of Bethlehem
During the seven-days of the Feast of Tabernacles, Jewish families live in booths built with branches of trees. It is customary to leave a hole in the roof so as to be able to look at the stars at night. Therefore, the Feast of Tabernacles is the perfect time for Jewish magi east of Palestine to notice the appearance of the star of Bethlehem.
That is why it is important to note that the magi did not get to Bethlehem at the time of Jesus’ birth, as erroneously portrayed on Christmas cards. By the time they arrived, Jesus was already a young child: “When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.” (Matthew 2:9).
It must have taken them up to two years to get there, which is why, in the bid to kill Jesus, Herod killed all the children in Bethlehem from two years old and under: “When Herod found out that the wise men from the east had tricked him, he was very angry. He gave orders for his men to kill all the boys who lived in or near Bethlehem and were two years old and younger. This was based on what he had learned from the wise men.” (Matthew 2:16).
All this point to one thing. Jesus was born on the Feast of Tabernacles. He was not born on “Christmas Day.” [myad]
The Catholic Bishop of Sokoto Diocese, Father Matthew Hassan Kukah, has lamented the commercialization of churches with religious leaders making investment of billions of Naira into the running of the churches.
Father Kukah, in his Christmas message, said that Christian religion ought to be a profit-making venture as it has now been turned.
“The word of God and its living blessings are free. Isaiah said that much when he said ‘come all of you who are thirsty, come to the water and you who have no money, come and eat. Buy wine and milk without money and without cost (Isaiah: 55:1)’,” the clergyman said.
Father Kukah pointed out that there were times when the Catholic Church was guilty of “simony” – the practice of making profit out of sacred things.
“That was one of the reasons for Father Martin Luther’s revolt. But, so much has changed now. Prayer for our people is the duty of all ordained ministers, but today, it has become subject to abuse.”
The cleric called on Christians to return to the model of Jesus Christ as they celebrate Christmas, adding that considering the life that Christ lived, it was difficult to understand how Nigerians had come to equate success, prosperity and blessings of God with wealth. [myad]
As the war on corruption heightens, the political battle-line between the governing All Progressives Congress (APC) and the opposition Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) has sharply been drawn.
While leaders from both parties voice out their support for the clean-up of the country by ridding it of corruption, the National Working Committee of the PDP seems clearly to be working contrary to the anti-corruption rhetoric of their Board of Trustees. Their public communication organs have, in particular, become increasingly combative against the exercise. All that the President, leading the APC change orchestra is trying to do is to revamp a moribund nation with growth, jobs and recovered looted funds. Sadly, only a few, if any in Wadata House are treating the war against corruption as the extra-ordinary event which it is. Instead, when they speak up, they do so most ardently against it. In a clear demonstration of abstructist politics, they challenge the government in every move it makes, but fail to spell out alternative roadmaps to curbing the monstrous corruption that threatens to consume the country; they rush to condemn and dramatize even the smallest of measures which, given time and patience will manifest through positive outcomes.
Doing this gives the PDP the illusion of being an effective opposition party but taken in the context of national interest and the mood of the nation, it is doubtful it it is yielding anything beyond limited political returns. To most Nigerians, the cacophonous opposition is just a media spectacle to distract or mellow the President.
After an historic loss in an election to the opposition for the first time in the annals of this country’s political history, PDP has not looked inwards in any serious way to seek its revival. The first and major leap at reform ended disastrously when first, the party establishment rejected a well-timed apology tendered on its behalf for their past failures. Then, the leader of the reform movement got himself mired in allegations leading to court charges of the theft of billions of Naira voted for weapons purchase to fight terror in the North East. Chief Raymond Dokpesi’s trial (and Col. Dasuki’s) is no doubt a serious blow to any prospects of a turn-around in the PDP.
The party did not seek democratize their internal organization, a major reason for their implosion leading to the loss of the election or began thinking innovatively about the challenges of modern day Nigeria, nor have they got a “Plan B” that is inviting to the voters.
It is this failure to reckon with, or look at the real issues confronting the party and the nation that led to their call for an investigation of President Buhari for having been supplied two jeeps by the erstwhile Jonathan administration after the personal bullet-proof jeep he owned was bombed by yet unknown assailants.
As the Special Adviser to the President, Femi Adesina said, issuance of the cars, soon after this incident was merely a face-saving move, intended to cover the government’s failure to keep its duty to this particular former leader. The law, cited as the Remuneration of Former Presidents and Heads of State (and other Ancillary Matters), entitles former Nigerian Presidents including General Muhammadu Buhari to “three vehicles to be bought by the Federal Government and liable to be replaced every four years”.
Cars are just a few in a litany of entitlements written in that law although it is contestable to say that General Buhari had been given his due entitlements by successive administrations as provided hereunder. Regime after regime treated him as if he was not a former Head of State.
General Abacha came on the saddle and wanted to throw everything at Buhari who, knowing his very nature declined virtually but his military pension. The military in particular treated him so badly that its leaders kept silent when the PDP charged that he didn’t have WAEC papers. One shameless Army Records officer said that the former Head of State had no records at all under their system. General Buhari went without a full complement of armed guards from the army he served at the highest level until the dastardly bomb attack on his convoy in April 2014. It was at this time that the Chief of Army Staff at that time thought it necessary to reinstate the armed convoy to protect him. When they brought the two cars within a few days of his being bombed, the staff of the General were merely informed that this was from the Federal Government in fulfillment of its obligation to him. Since this was an entitlement long-overdue, not minding that it came short of what was expected, there was absolutely nothing wrong on the part of the General for accepting that which was due to him.
This hashtag “#Buharigate” was intended as a counterpoise to “Dasukigate,” the phenomenal corruption scheme by which money intended for weapons to fight terror was shared among PDP leaders. It was a fake intervention and a malicious propaganda against the president, obviously intended to detract from his enormously huge reputational capital, the basis on which the APC nation-wide victory was founded.
The #Buharigate failed to gain traction because was seen as an opposition overreach and a desperate attempt to tarnish his hard-earned name and nothing more. No serious blogger therefore paid a serious attention to it.
This baseless allegation that the President had benefitted from the diversion of money intended to fight insurgency under the former National Security Adviser equally underlines the cruel nature of today’s politics, that even the best personal examples cannot keep a leader from the tar brush of the opponent.
Apart from seeking to mellow the President, I suspect that the opposition had thought these attacks would revive the collapsed fortunes of the PDP while at the same time projecting their leaders as victims of persecution in the hands of the APC administration.
What however is encouraging in the country today is that Nigerians have thrown their full weight behind the war on corruption. This itself is an account the constructive nature of the government’s engagement against the vice and the determination with which it is being fought. Adding impetus and flavor is the frustration at the routionisation of corruption by the last administration and their inadequate and impotent efforts to curb and punish high-profile offenders.
My concluding augment is that President Buhari’s election and war against terrorism and corruption have become a template. In Niger, Chad and Ghana where there will be elections next year, opposition candidates are parading themselves as the “Buhari” of their own country.
President Buhari must have himself been embarrassed by calls, through newspaper articles, posters and banners in the course of his visits to these friendly countries, saying “we want Buhari type elections; we will wage Buhari-type anti-corruption war”. One Chadian political party published an advertorial asking their government to procure and issue permanent voters cards as well as the use of card readers in the coming election and if the funds were not available, “let us borrow from Nigeria” for the coming elections.
President Buhari was and is far, far away from, and remains untouched by the “Dasukigate”. “#Buharigate” is therefore a fraud and an unbecoming spectacle designed to tarnish the illustrious record of the President so as to mellow his anti-corruption drive. It failed because it was born out of desperation to gain sympathy by an opposition that can’t heal itself unless it comes to terms with the danger of corruption they thrived in, and the party’s internal structures are overhauled and remade to meet the minimum requirements of a democratic organization.
Garba Shehu is Senior Special Assistant to President Muhammadu Buhari on Media and Publicity. [myad]
Pope Francis has expressed worry about human dignity of far too many people around the world which he said is being trampled on, including that of refugees and migrants.
He said: “Even today, great numbers of men and women are deprived of their human dignity, and like the child Jesus, suffer cold, poverty and rejection.
“May our closeness today be felt by those who are most vulnerable, especially child soldiers, women who suffer violence, and the victims of human trafficking and the drug trade.”
Pope Francis who is the 266th Pope spoke today while delivering his Christmas message on at the St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City.
He called on the world to unite to end atrocities being committed against humanity, especially by Islamist militants.
The Pope, who marked the third Christmas since his election in 2013, said that the unity of the world against the insurgents has become imperative in view of the immense suffering they have been inflicting on many countries.
He particularly referred to the civil wars in Syria and Libya, adding: “May the attention of the international community be unanimously directed to ending the atrocities which in those countries, as well as in Iraq, Libya, Yemen and sub-Saharan Africa, even now reap numerous victims, cause immense suffering and do not even spare the historical and cultural patrimony of entire peoples.”
He was clearly referring to Islamic State militants, who have carried out numerous attacks in those countries and destroyed many cultural heritage sites.
In October, Islamic State militants blew up the Arch of Triumph, a jewel in the exquisite collection of ruins in the Syrian oasis city of Palmyra.
The pontiff condemned recent “brutal acts of terrorism,” including the November 13 attacks by Islamist militants that killed 130 people in Paris and the downing of a Russian plane over Egypt’s Sinai peninsula that killed 224 people on October 31.
Both were claimed by Islamic State.
Pope Francis said: “Only God’s mercy can free humanity from the many forms of evil, at times monstrous evil, which selfishness spawns in our midst.
“The grace of God can convert hearts and offer mankind a way out of humanly insoluble situations.”
He called for peace between Israelis and Palestinians in the area where Jesus was born.
He said: “Where peace is born, there is no longer room for hatred and for war.
“Yet precisely where the incarnate Son of God came into the world, tensions and violence persist and peace remains a gift to be implored and built.”
Pope Francis asked God to bring consolation and strength to Christians who are being persecuted around the world and called for peace in the Democratic Republic of Congo, Burundi, South Sudan and Ukraine. [myad]
What The Witches Said, By Reuben Abati
“How was Christmas?”
“It’s come and gone. Life goes on. We thank God for the gift of life.”
“Life will always go on.”
“But without life, we can’t have hope.”
“Without hope, life has no meaning.”
“I am still in a Christmas mood though. I get a chance to rest a lot during holidays”
“Where were you?”
“I was in my home town, the city of hope. I refused to be deterred by fuel scarcity, the scarcity of cash and the scarcity of goodwill.”
“That your town where nobody sells a brand new car, no single car mart where you can get tear rubber, all the major streets are littered with Tokunbo vehicles on sale. Yeah, the town of hope.”
“Talking about hope, you know. During Christmas, I saw a story about Christmas in Senegal, showing how in a country with about 94% of the population being Muslims, Christmas is celebrated.”
“By Muslims?”
“Yes. Muslims wearing Father Christmas clothes, decorating their homes for Christmas and joining the small percentage of Christians to celebrate.”
“Are you sure the attraction is not commerce? Christmas is big business, and Senegal is a major tourist destination.”
“I think it is more about religious tolerance in that country and people learning to accommodate and enjoy diversity. For me, that is the message. People can belong to different religious faiths and yet live happily together.”
“Hmm. We need that message in Nigeria.”
“Ironically, something like that also actually happened in Nigeria, this Christmas”
“Where?”
“In Kaduna.”
“When? How?”
“I learnt some Muslim women went to Kaduna prison to give food to prisoners to celebrate Christmas. “
“Christmas or Eid el Maulud? You know there were two events: the birthday of Prophet Muhammed (SAW) and that of Our Lord Jesus Christ.”
“I am sure. The Muslim women visited the prison on Christmas Day. And at the Christ Evangelical Intercessory Fellowship Ministry, also in Kaduna, more than 150 Muslims attended Christmas Day church service.”
“If what you are saying is true, then that is great, beautiful, fantastic. Religion has done too much damage in our society. Can you imagine some people going to destroy somebody’s mother’s grave just because they do not like his brand of worship? People should stop killing the living and the dead because of religious differences. We should accommodate our differences and join hands to move Nigeria forward.”
“I know. But how far should this accommodation thing go? Should it also include witches?”
“Witchcraft?”
“Yes.”
“Hey, blood of Jesus!”
“Look at you. Where were you when the other day, the spokesman for the Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria (WIZAN) issued a press statement saying they the white witches of Nigeria support President Buhari’s anti-corruption campaign”
“White witches. Winch dey get colour?’
“Na so I hear oh. White winch, Black winch, Red winch”
“All of them winching, winching people from the pit of darkness. Chei, blood of Jesus!”
“The spokesman for White Witches said they are good people with members in every state of the Federation and that as patriots, if they are invited, they are ready to assist the government to bring corrupt persons to book.”
“Witches have a spokesman and a nationwide network, and they now issue press statements? Father, your words are forever true. End time is here! And Nigeria never fails to surprise somebody; everyday, every minute, something new always crops up in this country.”
“I don’t get you. But you just spoke about diversity, accommodation, inclusiveness, and now you are contradicting yourself.”
“Not witchcraft please. Light and darkness cannot mix. I support freedom yes, inclusiveness and all that, but not the kind of support that will take me to Hell-fire.”
“Hell is in your mind. Heaven is a mythological construct. But look at the proposal. The witches want to help the government.”
“How? Will the Federal Government set up a Special Court for White Witches fighting Corruption?”
“I guess they will be very effective. See how you’ve been shivering since you heard that witches have become nationalists and change agents. Only the guilty are afraid.”
“Will they also help to resolve fuel scarcity issues, power supply problems, and reckless driving on our roads?”
“This is a democracy. Let all the flowers bloom.”
“Witches don they get spokesman. I thought the law forbids anyone from belonging to a secret society, a cult and so on.”
“Well, as it is the white witches association is no longer a secret society. They are now in the open. Don’t be surprised if very soon they advertise vacancies for membership.”
“God forbid.”
“Siddon there, dey talk. You’d be surprised how many media houses will collect the adverts, and publish, get paid for services rendered, and claim that this is a democracy.”
“Hmmm”
“See. Smell the coffee. The thing is that even this thing called government is a kind of witchcraft. White, black and red witchcraft combined; that is what is called government!”
“And that’s why we need spiritual redemption.”
“Keep sermonizing. Were you not in this country when during the last general elections, the National Association of Prostitutes also issued a statement on how the elections should be organized?”
“Prostitutes also have a spokesperson? No shame?”
“It was their President that spoke. They even promised free sex. But I wouldn’t know if they made good on that offer.”
“Wait oh.”
“What?”
“I am trying to remember something.”
“What is that?”
“These your witches and wizards, didn’t they also make certain predictions during the last elections?”
“I don’t remember”
“They did. They openly endorsed President Jonathan. They said they didn’t see any vacancy in Aso Rock in their crystal ball, and they pledged their support.”
“May be the spirits changed and the witches also changed.”
“Ha!”
“It is called change. Once they wave that their broom”
“Witches use broom?”
“Yes. Once they wave that their broom over their magical pot… but let me just advise you, don’t go about questioning the wisdom of witches. It can be dangerous.”
“I am a child of Light.”
“Whatever you are, just know that when a witch strikes you…you can’t do anything to witches. Nobody can catch the air.”
“You are beginning to sound as if you are one of them. And if you are not, well, you may end up becoming a witch yourself.”
“Me? No.”
“It is like you like them.”
“I am just saying in a democracy, you are bound to see all kinds of things. That is why it is a democracy.”
“I know. That is why Donald Trump is getting good ratings in the US Presidential race.”
“Let’s leave witches alone, I beg.”
“But what have they said about this coming year, 2016?”
“How?”
“Any predictions?”
“You don’t need witches to predict any new year. I can do it myself.”
“I said it. There is something you are not telling me. I wasn’t talking about witches. I was referring to the pastors who always look into the future.”
“Dey there. You don’t need to be a witch or a pastor to make predictions. When I reviewed some of my own projections for 2015, I was almost 80% accurate. You just need to learn how it is done.”
“How?”
“Okay, let me assist you. See in the year of our Lord, 2016, care must be taken in the aviation industry to avoid air mishap. In the course of the year, two prominent Nigerians must pray seriously against bereavement in their families. Two Governors are likely to face the threat of removal from office. And a former state Governor should be careful not to lose his son-in-law. I see fire outbreak in two major markets, North and South, with many casualties. Two First Class Traditional Rulers are likely to join their ancestors before the month of June. Some directors in the public service will lose their positions. I see earthquake occurring somewhere in the Pacific. There will be a boom in the Agriculture Sector. 2016 is going to be a year of bountiful harvest. More lives will still be lost to Boko Haram violence. The Naira will remain unpredictable….”
“What kind of crystal ball do you use, if I may ask?”
“What crystal ball does your Pastor use?”
“My Pastor doesn’t use a crystal ball. He is filled with the Holy Spirit.”
“Many of these Pastors predict so many things and they don’t even get it right. And yet this year again, they will sell books of predictions to their congregation.”
“My own Pastor is a man of God. He is always at least 85% accurate, every year.”
“Well, I have made my own predictions too. You can either believe me or you believe your Pastor; you choose. But you’d see that I am always very accurate.”
“You are just using commonsense, my friend.”
“And what does your Pastor use?”
“There are people who have the gift of prophecy, they can see into the future. Don’t blaspheme.”
“Don’t worry. When your pastor publishes his book of predictions, get me two copies, please. I am in a generous mood. I don’t have a problem helping him to make quick profit.”
“Only God can forgive you.”
“So, technically speaking, what are you saying?”
“I am saying, that technically, Nigeria will survive 2016, prophecy or no prophecy. God never forsakes his own people.”
“Okay. I understand, you mean technically, the current fuel scarcity will end.”
“Yes”
“And technically, power supply will improve, and we will not have any more Dumsor.”
“What is Dumsor?”
“That is how technically, the people of Ghana, describe persistent power outages.”
“But how do our people describe it?”
“They say technically, all our problems will be defeated.”
“You mean, technically, all Nigerians will become prosperous in 2016?”
“Yes”.
“Actually, come to think of it, everything is technical.”
“Oh, certainly, once you understand the technique of the technicality.”
“Like the announcement that the pump price of fuel will be reduced to N85 per litre in January 2016?”
“Yes! You got it! Technically!”
“But I have been buying fuel at N130 per litre.”
“That is the technicality”
“I am confused.”
“That is because you don’t have a gift for technical things.”
“Like witchcraft, yes.”
“Don’t worry, you’d learn. Just have an open mind.”
“But look at this other matter. Even international airlines including British Airways, are now threatening to reduce their flights to Nigeria by early 2016.”
“So?”
“They say they can’t get aviation fuel in Nigeria and that the scarcity of foreign exchange has slowed down the Nigerian economy.”
“They should go and sit down. Otherwise we will give them the MTN treatment. Who is asking foreign airlines to start analyzing Nigeria’s 2016 Budget? If they like let them reduce all their flights. We will defeat those foreign airlines, technically. In fact, Nigerians will start traveling to Europe, Dubai, wherever, by road. Nonsense!”
“What?”
“Yes, London by road, why not?”[myad]