“My brother, let’s just say I slept at a fuel station, looking for fuel.”
“For which of the women in your life, because I hear these days, to please a woman in Nigeria, you must be ready to supply the three major things lacking in the land: money, fuel, and happiness.”
“Leave that matter, please. My condolences on the death of your man, Governor Abubakar Audu”
“We thank God for his life. He played his part.”
“To be so close to breasting the tape and then fall.”
“I know. I know. May be if he had not insisted on running again for the office of Governor in Kogi state, he would still be alive today.”
“The man drove himself too hard, publicly and privately. He ran for every Gubernatorial election in Kogi state since 1991. There must be something special in being Governor for him.”
“Don’t speak ill of the dead, I beg you. Simple etiquette.”
“But you know now?”
“I don’t know nothing”
“Then the man went and married a young, 23-year old. If the election had been concluded and the man had won, the First Lady of Kogi state would have been a 23-year old lady! Those who seek public office should always weigh their lifestyle and their health against their ambition, but politicians act as if they are superhuman.”
“Can you stop?”
“A 74-year old man, with a 23-year old wife. That alone is enough to give anybody hypertension.”
“He was 68”
“Official age. He was 74, somebody told me.”
“Excuse me! Respect the dead, please. Abubakar Audu was a democrat extraordinary, a courageous politician, a visionary, selfless, man of the people, and his party’s popular choice.”
“My view is that it is not the election in Kogi that is inconclusive per se, a supplementary election will be organized, a winner will emerge; it is Audu’s death that is inconclusive considering the many issues it has thrown up.”
“What kind of talk is that? Death is final. It is the cessation of all things, a necessary end.”
“Nothing has ended with Abubakar Audu’s death oh. Did you not see the desperate efforts made to get some Prophets to resurrect him? And some people actually believed that he could be the Lazarus of our time! They started jubilating.”
“That is concrete proof of his popularity. But I was shocked seeing Nigerians will believe anything, and being so superstitious. Even the grave diggers stopped digging, waiting for the prophets to perform a miracle.”
“I hear there was a meeting of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) on the Kogi election but the moment the prophets waded in, even INEC suspended its meeting and did not reconvene until the prophets failed.”
“Only in Africa!”
“When the Prophets didn’t deliver, people got angry. They could have lynched those Prophets”
“Well, at least, some people will now know that the prophets are not always right in the age of biology and science. Who could have been behind such a hare-brained scheme?”
“The man’s in-laws, for example.
“Oh, come on”
“Or persons who may have been promised appointments and contracts. Or it could be persons who invested in his candidacy. Elections in Nigeria are business investments. The investors must have thought of a last minute strategy to reverse the situation. Simple economics. ”
“You and your theories. The same people will do business with whoever eventually wins the election, anyway.”
“There is also the inconclusive matter of the 23-year old wife. When the death was announced, many commentators on social media were more concerned about the young widow. Comments about how she will cope, what she would do next. One guy asked for her phone numbers.”
“Stupid, callous fellow.”
“Another fellow actually said he was ready to inherit all of Audu’s assets and liabilities in that regard.”
“Let him go ahead. Ole!”
“Besides, Audu’s death has turned everybody into a Constitutional expert. What happens if a candidate dies in the course of an inconclusive election? Who becomes the new candidate?”
“Simple. The APC will field another candidate, appeal to whoever is aggrieved within the party to step down until an appropriate candidate who definitely must be Igala, is identified. I don’t see the APC fielding any candidate who will automatically make them lose the election.”
“You think the APC candidate must still be Igala? But nothing is ever that straightforward in Nigerian politics.”
“Of course, otherwise, it will be a walk-over for Governor Idris Wada. The Igalas have the numbers. Politics is a game of numbers. The stakes are high. I foresee many court cases”
“Let them field Audu’s young widow then”
“Are you out of your mind? Why are you so obsessed with this lady?”
“Or may be his son. Does he have any son who is qualified? Let them make it a family affair. If he had supported his son as a candidate…But people just don’t know when to quit and hand over to the next generation.”
“With a 23-year old wife, he was definitely committed to the next generation.”
“Some people are of the view that his running mate should just run with the mandate, but I don’t think the circumstances favour him. He is from a minority group in Kogi state. He is a Christian, and the party may not back him.”
“Poor James Faleke”
“Yeah, he must be troubled. What if he and Audu had won. And they had been sworn in. But now, there are no guarantees.”
“God’s will is supreme. That is one lesson we all must learn from all this. Remember Abacha? When it was time, God intervened. We are all pencils in God’s hands. You can amass all the wealth in the world, marry all the young women, misapply the people’s money, get so close to Cannan, but you can then fall sick and die. In life, things happen and all you have left is six feet, rich or poor, six feet.”
“Six feet”
“I hope Robert Mugabe knows this. I hope Grace Mugabe knows.”
“Why Robert Mugabe?”
“Didn’t you read that story about 50-year old Grace Mugabe, First Lady of Zimbabwe, buying her Robert, a special wheelchair?”
“The way you pronounced Robert, you make it sound like Robot”
“Isn’t that what the 91-year old President of Zimbabwe has become, a Robot. Grace Mugabe’s Robot”
“Sad. In his days, Robert Mugabe, multiple degrees holder, was a shining star. And now, his wife is pushing him around”
“She actually has a PhD, awarded in two months, without examination or dissertation, by her Robert in his capacity as Chancellor of the University of Zimbabwe!”
“Mugabe! A Pan-Africanist, who stood up to the British and neo-colonial imperialism; today, he is falling down at public functions, he reads the wrong speech in parliament, he is old and tired, and yet he won’t quit.”
“He should. Zimbabwe already has the oldest President in the world, and he has been in power since 1980- 35 years!”
“With a wife like “Dis Grace” Mugabe, he won’t. She says she is ready to push the wheelchair herself, just in case anybody is in any doubt.”
“I won’t put anything past that woman. Didn’t she once proclaim that any woman who wears mini-skirt and gets raped should not complain? Is that not the same woman who punched a journalist in the face during a foreign visit?”
“Mugabe has stayed too long and has allowed a woman to destroy his legacy. He is so smitten with “Dis-Grace”, he allegedly fired his Chief of Defence Staff last year for staring at her derriere!”
“That’s madness.”
“But the woman get am oh. The thing dey; very seriously. And you know in that part of Africa, the women don’t need to buy it and enhance it like Kim Kardashian, the thing just dey and you can lose your head.”
“I think someday in Africa, we’d have to start voting for these First Ladies too. Voters should be given the right to choose the President’s wife, or at least they should be screened by parliament. In Africa, the wives wield so much influence.”
“They do in other places too. It is the man that matters.”
“When Mugabe sits in that wheelchair, Zimbabwe is finished!”
“For democracy to work, we need to worry about the leadership recruitment process in Africa. How do we free democracy from a debilitating sense and culture of entitlement. How do we get persons who are still up to it, and who will not aspire to rule till they are on wheelchair or life-long medication.”
““All men who play God and who aspire to be God, let them be reminded, it is just six feet. In Cameroon, Paul Biya has been sitting tight for 33 years, in Congo, Nguesso has been in power for 36 years, in Equitorial Guinea, Mbasogo is almost a god in human form. And you have dos Santos in Angola (36 years) Bashir in Sudan (22 years) Museveni in Uganda (29 years), Idris Deby in Chad (25 years) and Jammeh in Gambia (21 years).”
“Six feet. Just six feet in the grave.”
“I hope they all know.”
“It is also a lesson for the poor, including those young ones who play God with their talents.”
“Absolutely. There are people these days who play God with their laptops, their pens and I-pads. Imagine some people jubilating over other people’s misfortune.”
“Six feet, my brother, not an inch more nor less. In the grave, all men are equal.” [myad]
The Abuja Division of the Federal High Court has let the former governor of Bayelsa state, Timipre Sylva off the hook by dismissing the 50-count criminal charge that was entered against him by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC).
Trial Justice Ademola Adeniyi dismissed the charge on the ground that it constituted a gross abuse of the judicial process even as he barred the anti-graft agency from ever filing another charge against Sylva based on the facts of the case that was dismissed.
Sylva is currently the governorship candidate of the All Progressives Congress in the election scheduled to hold in Bayelsa State on December 5.
He was in the charge that was dismissed yesterday, alleged to have connived with three others- Francis Okokuro, Gbenga Balogun and Samuel Ogbuku- and siphoned over N19.2billion from the Bayelsa State. [myad]
The Corps Marshal and Chief Executive of the Federal Road Safety Corps (FRSC), Mr. Boboye Oyeyemi has recommended the use of bicycles to beat traffic gridlocks in some areas of Lagos.
Oyeyemi who spoke at a one-day Transport Summit in Lagos, advised the Lagos State government to fully implement the State Traffic Law 2012.
This was even as governor Akinwunmi Ambode said that his government has strong political will to take tough decisions and implement effective strategies to bring about a robust traffic management system in the state.
He reiterated the need to empower traffic officials and install monitoring cameras at major road intersections to record traffic offenders, while advocated the use of bicycles as alternative means of transportation in some areas of the city to reduce traffic congestion.
Ambode admitted that immediate solutions were needed to achieve future aspirations in respect of Lagos traffic. [myad]
The Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) has directed the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) to declare its candidate, Captain Idris Wada, as the winner of the November 21 governorship election in Kogi State.
The party which insisted that it APC has lost out in the contest, and that it is therefore wrong for the national electoral body to ask the party to replace its deceased candidate, Abubakar Audu, in the supplementary election.
In a statement by the national publicity secretary of the PDP, Olisa Metuh, the party threatened to take legal action over the matter, adding that the death of Audu meant that the ruling party had no representation in the election.
He stressed that during his party’s national caucus meeting on Wednesday, it was resolved that there should be no going back on the decision to ask the INEC chairman and the attorney general of the federation, to resign.
The PDP maintained that the electoral body is not competent to conduct the forthcoming governorship election in Bayelsa State.
The statement reads: “The national caucus of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) met on Wednesday, November 25, 2015 in Abuja wherein it thoroughly considered the developments arising from the conduct of the inconclusive governorship election in Kogi state and resolved as follows: “Completely rejects the decision of INEC in yielding to the unlawful prompting of a clearly partisan attorney general of the federation (AGF), Mallam Abubakar Malami, to allow APC to substitute a candidate in the middle of an election, even when such has no place in the Constitution and the electoral act.
“Insists that with the death of its candidate, Prince Abubakar Audu, the APC has legally crashed out of the governorship race as no known law or constitutional provision allows the substituting of candidates, once the ballot process has commenced.
“Insists that with the unfortunate death of Prince Abubakar Audu, the APC has no valid candidate in the election, leaving INEC with no other lawful option than to declare the PDP candidate, Capt. Idris Wada as the winner of the election.
“Notes that the combine reading of the provisions of the constitution and Electoral Act does not in any war whatsoever support the substitution of candidates for election in the middle of the ballot process.
“Notes that if APC is allowed to substitute its original candidate, then the party would have fielded two separate candidates in the same election, a scenario that is completely alien to our electoral laws and to any known democratic norms and practice world-over.
“Caucus observes that the APC, fully aware that it has no case before the law is now orchestrating confusion in the polity with a view to diverting attention from its glaring incompetence and failure of governance.
“Observes that the leadership of INEC as presently constituted under the chairmanship of Prof. Mahmood Yakubu has demonstrated that it is incapable of neutrality and as such cannot be vested with the conduct of the Kogi governorship supplementary election as well as the December 5, 2015 Bayelsa governorship election.
“As a result, caucus demands the immediate resignation of the chairman and all national commissioners of INEC to pave the way for a new non-partisan commission to conduct the forth-coming elections.
“Caucus also demands the immediate resignation of the attorney general of the federation (AGF), Mallam Abubakar Malami for deliberately misleading INEC into arriving at the unconstitutional decision of allowing APC to substitute its candidate in the inconclusive election.
“Notes that in order to save the nation’s democracy from imminent collapse, the PDP as a critical stakeholder will immediately challenge this unlawful and unconstitutional decision by INEC in the court.
“Caucus also alerts that the AGF, INEC and APC are creating a scenario where a loser in a primary will patiently wait for the winning candidate to finish election and then have him either poisoned or assassinated before the final collation of results. “Caucus calls on the international community to prevail on the APC government to stop this ceaseless assault on our democracy.” [myad]
Leaders of All Progressives Congress (APC), in Kogi East Senatorial District has nominated the 43 year old Mohammed, first son of Late Prince Abubakar Audu, to replace him as the party’ s governorship candidate.
The leaders, stakeholders and delegates who made this known in Lokoja today after a marathon meeting, said they arrived at the decision after due consultations.
Their spokesman, Mr. Daniel Isah, the Vice Chairman of APC in Kogi East, said they have resolved and are determined to back Mohammed to replace his father if the National Working Committee orders fresh primaries.
Isah thanked the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) and the national leadership of the party for the opportunity given to them to find a replacement for Audu who died on November 23 at Ogbonicha, Ofu Local Government.
He appealed to the national leadership of the party to give their decision utmost consideration and approval in the overall interest of the party and the state.
Present at the meeting were Alhaji Lincho Ocheje, Hon. Hassan Omale, Hon. Benjamin Ikhani, and Sen. Emmanuel Dangana, among others. [myad]
James Faleke, the running mate to late Prince Abubakar Audu, the candidate of the All Progressives Congress (APC) in Saturday’s governorship election in Kogi State, has asked the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) to declare him governor-elect.
Faleke, in a letter to INEC, dated November 26, 2015, insisted that under Section 187 of the 1999 Constitution, he was duly elected as deputy governor of Kogi State based on the outcome of the election declared inconclusive by INEC.
He said that INEC has no right under the law to declare the election inconclusive.
The letter which was forwarded by his counsel, Wole Olanipekun, accused INEC of deliberately creating what he called “legal conundrum.”
“In law and logic, no new candidate can inherit or be a beneficiary of the votes already cast, counted and declared by INEC before that candidate was nominated and purportedly sponsored.
“Assuming without conceding that INEC is even right to order a supplementary election, the votes already cast, counted and declared on Saturday, 25th November 2015, were votes for the joint constitutional ticket of Prince Abubakar Audu and our client.
“Therefore, no new or ‘supplementary’ candidate can hijack, aggregate, appropriate or inherit the said votes.” [myad]
The Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) has said that 531 million litres of petrol valued at over N50 billion was lost to pipeline vandals between January and September, 2015.
The loss was at the problematic System 2B Pipeline network, which stretches from the Atlas Cove in Lagos to Ilorin in Kwara State.
In a presentation to the Senate Committee on Petroleum Downstream, the Managing Director of the Pipelines and Product Marketing Company (PPMC), a subsidiary of the NNPC, Esther Nnamdi-Ogbue, said that the losses, which chiefly accrued from the incessant hacking of the pipeline at the notorious Arepo to Mosimi axis of the pipeline artery, has made the task of providing seamless flow of petroleum products to retail outlets more burdensome.
Nnamdi-Ogbue said despite the challenge posed by the unavailability of the vital System 2B Pipeline network, the PPMC has continued to ensure that the country remains wet with petrol through massive truck-out from depots in Lagos, Oghara in Delta State and recently Calabar in Cross River State.
The PPMC MD, however, noted that the spirited efforts made so far by the Corporation to entrench zero fuel queues across the country are being hampered by the activities of some unscrupulous marketers involved in hoarding, sharp practices and diversion of petroleum products for sale in black markets across the country.
“We view this as a distortion to the economy and we have invited the DSS and the EFCC to take action,” she said.
Earlier in his presentation, the Group Executive Director of Commercial and Investment, Dr. Babatunde Adeniran, told the Senate Committee that the fuel situation was exacerbated by the inability of oil marketers to meet their import allocation quota due to outstanding subsidy payments, thus creating a gap, which the PPMC has been working round the clock to bridge despite the extraneous challenges like hoarding and incessant pipeline hacking.
Answering a question on the ways to ensure a lasting solution to the perennial problem of fuel scarcity, Dr. Jamila Shu’ara, the Permanent Secretary of the Ministry of Petroleum Resources and leader of the delegation, harped on the need to build strategic reserve stock of petroleum products akin to the national grain reserves across the country.
Senator Uche Ekwunife, the Committee Chairman, while acknowledging the efforts made so far by the NNPC to ensure unimpeded fuel supply, however, gave the Ministry two weeks to ensure sanity in the supply and distribution of petroleum products across the country. [myad]
Former President Olusegun Obasanjo has responded to the letter from the ex President Goodluck Jonathan on his plan to float a Foundation, asking him (Jonathan) to use the new Foundation to engage in soul-searching and in reviewing his past actions.
In the letter, dated October 12, 2015, Obasanjo also advised Jonathan to consider the Foundation as a platform through which he can heal his conscience and demonstrate penitence over his past actions.
Ex-President Jonathan had on September 22, wrote to ex President Obasanjo, informing him of his plans to set up a Foundation through which he would continue to service humanity.
Obasanjo’s letter dated October 12, 2015 goes thus:
Dear President Goodluck Jonathan,
“I write to acknowledge the receipt of your letter of September 22, 2015. I take this opportunity to congratulate you on your successful handover to the current President of Nigeria, H.E. President Muhammadu Buhari.
“I am happy to note that you had a good rest and time with your family during the break. I hope you also had time to reflect and see what lessons you have learned and what you can bequeath to others.
“All of us who have had experience in our service to the nation and to humanity must not put it under the bushel.
“I have to commend you and your Foundation, Goodluck Jonathan Foundation, for the faith you continue to have in Nigeria.
“Maybe seeking how to be better and more serviceable to the nation and humanity is also a form of penitence and soul-searching to give conscience a relief and to show remorse.
“I wish you well as you continue to forge ahead with your activities in the coming months and years. If there is any area you feel I can be of help, you should not hesitate to call on me.
Director General of the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), Johnson Olawumi has explained why the management of the Service banned the use of long hijab by Muslim Corps members. Olawumi said the decision became imperative for safety of all corps members in the country irrespective of tribes or religion.
He reacted to a peaceful protest organized by a Muslim group, Muslim Youths in Da’wah at the NYSC headquarters in Abuja. The protest was to convey their discomfort over the ban on the use of hijab by Muslim corps members.
The NYSC DG insisted that some young Muslim ladies have been used as medium to execute terrorist attacks especially in current Boko Haram insurgency.
“Under my leadership, the NYSC will accord respect to every corps member, irrespective of tribe and religion. The incident in Benue State was caused by the use of long hijab. The security situation in the country is tough. There is the danger of somebody using hijab for other reasons.
“There have been cases where young girls put on hijab and eventually turn to suicide bombers. Boko Haram members know how to get at whoever they want as target. That is why we frown at the wearing of long hijab. Please call on all your Muslim youths to be patient and adhere to it, just for a short period during the camp. We frown at long hijab because of the security implication.
“Why are you so particular on your alleged infraction on the rights of youths without mentioning any one of such on Christian youths? Produce your evidence, write to us and I can assure you that we will act fast.
“When the incident in Benue State was reported to us, I swung into action and ensured that the camp commandant was decamped immediately.
“We are not magicians; if you have any evidence, write to us and we will not hesitate to act,” he stated.
Earlier, the National Coordinator of the group, Luqman Hassan alongside his Deputy, Kamarudeen Adefila had informed Olawumi that a major protest was prevented because of the ban in most NYSC orientation camps in the country.
According to him, use of the hijab is an infringement of fundamental human right of the female corps members.
“We are here to discuss with you about the incident that happened recently in various camps across the country. We have a guiding principle which is based on the Holy Q’uran. We are all Nigerians and the principle which guides us is the constitution and the African Charter on Human rights.
“Members of the NYSC are Nigerians who have contributed to the development of this country; female corps members deserve protection by the NYSC. We don’t believe that a female corps member putting on hijab has done any wrong against the Act establishing the NYSC. So they deserve the respect of the NYSC. We have travelled far and wide and visited different camps. Why are the rights of female corps members being infringed upon. We are here to register our displeasure.
“Many Muslim organisations wanted to protest, but we said wait a while. In fact, we have to intervene to avoid the situation and if Muslims march on the streets, it will attract a lot of negative comments, but people won’t know why we are protesting.” [myad]
Alhaji Inuwa Wada, who held a traditional title of Magajin Gari of Kano, is dead, aged 98.
He died in the early hours today at his Durbin Iya residence in Kano metropolis after a protracted illness.
Alhaji Nasir Wada, one of his sons, who confirmed the death, said the deceased died around 6am.
According to him, late Wada is survived by one wife, many children and grandchildren.
Inuwa Wada was a member of the House of Representatives during the First Republic.
He was also a Minister of Works and later Minister of Defence during the First Republic.
He was an uncle to the former Head of State, late General Murtala Muhammed. He was said to be one of the powerful cabinet members in the First Republic. [myad]
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The Abuja Division of the Federal High Court has let the former governor of Bayelsa state, Timipre Sylva off the hook by dismissing the 50-count criminal charge that was entered against him by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC).
Audu’s Inconclusive Death; Mugabe’s Wheelchair, By Reuben Abati
“You look sleepy”
“My brother, let’s just say I slept at a fuel station, looking for fuel.”
“For which of the women in your life, because I hear these days, to please a woman in Nigeria, you must be ready to supply the three major things lacking in the land: money, fuel, and happiness.”
“Leave that matter, please. My condolences on the death of your man, Governor Abubakar Audu”
“We thank God for his life. He played his part.”
“To be so close to breasting the tape and then fall.”
“I know. I know. May be if he had not insisted on running again for the office of Governor in Kogi state, he would still be alive today.”
“The man drove himself too hard, publicly and privately. He ran for every Gubernatorial election in Kogi state since 1991. There must be something special in being Governor for him.”
“Don’t speak ill of the dead, I beg you. Simple etiquette.”
“But you know now?”
“I don’t know nothing”
“Then the man went and married a young, 23-year old. If the election had been concluded and the man had won, the First Lady of Kogi state would have been a 23-year old lady! Those who seek public office should always weigh their lifestyle and their health against their ambition, but politicians act as if they are superhuman.”
“Can you stop?”
“A 74-year old man, with a 23-year old wife. That alone is enough to give anybody hypertension.”
“He was 68”
“Official age. He was 74, somebody told me.”
“Excuse me! Respect the dead, please. Abubakar Audu was a democrat extraordinary, a courageous politician, a visionary, selfless, man of the people, and his party’s popular choice.”
“My view is that it is not the election in Kogi that is inconclusive per se, a supplementary election will be organized, a winner will emerge; it is Audu’s death that is inconclusive considering the many issues it has thrown up.”
“What kind of talk is that? Death is final. It is the cessation of all things, a necessary end.”
“Nothing has ended with Abubakar Audu’s death oh. Did you not see the desperate efforts made to get some Prophets to resurrect him? And some people actually believed that he could be the Lazarus of our time! They started jubilating.”
“That is concrete proof of his popularity. But I was shocked seeing Nigerians will believe anything, and being so superstitious. Even the grave diggers stopped digging, waiting for the prophets to perform a miracle.”
“I hear there was a meeting of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) on the Kogi election but the moment the prophets waded in, even INEC suspended its meeting and did not reconvene until the prophets failed.”
“Only in Africa!”
“When the Prophets didn’t deliver, people got angry. They could have lynched those Prophets”
“Well, at least, some people will now know that the prophets are not always right in the age of biology and science. Who could have been behind such a hare-brained scheme?”
“The man’s in-laws, for example.
“Oh, come on”
“Or persons who may have been promised appointments and contracts. Or it could be persons who invested in his candidacy. Elections in Nigeria are business investments. The investors must have thought of a last minute strategy to reverse the situation. Simple economics. ”
“You and your theories. The same people will do business with whoever eventually wins the election, anyway.”
“There is also the inconclusive matter of the 23-year old wife. When the death was announced, many commentators on social media were more concerned about the young widow. Comments about how she will cope, what she would do next. One guy asked for her phone numbers.”
“Stupid, callous fellow.”
“Another fellow actually said he was ready to inherit all of Audu’s assets and liabilities in that regard.”
“Let him go ahead. Ole!”
“Besides, Audu’s death has turned everybody into a Constitutional expert. What happens if a candidate dies in the course of an inconclusive election? Who becomes the new candidate?”
“Simple. The APC will field another candidate, appeal to whoever is aggrieved within the party to step down until an appropriate candidate who definitely must be Igala, is identified. I don’t see the APC fielding any candidate who will automatically make them lose the election.”
“You think the APC candidate must still be Igala? But nothing is ever that straightforward in Nigerian politics.”
“Of course, otherwise, it will be a walk-over for Governor Idris Wada. The Igalas have the numbers. Politics is a game of numbers. The stakes are high. I foresee many court cases”
“Let them field Audu’s young widow then”
“Are you out of your mind? Why are you so obsessed with this lady?”
“Or may be his son. Does he have any son who is qualified? Let them make it a family affair. If he had supported his son as a candidate…But people just don’t know when to quit and hand over to the next generation.”
“With a 23-year old wife, he was definitely committed to the next generation.”
“Some people are of the view that his running mate should just run with the mandate, but I don’t think the circumstances favour him. He is from a minority group in Kogi state. He is a Christian, and the party may not back him.”
“Poor James Faleke”
“Yeah, he must be troubled. What if he and Audu had won. And they had been sworn in. But now, there are no guarantees.”
“God’s will is supreme. That is one lesson we all must learn from all this. Remember Abacha? When it was time, God intervened. We are all pencils in God’s hands. You can amass all the wealth in the world, marry all the young women, misapply the people’s money, get so close to Cannan, but you can then fall sick and die. In life, things happen and all you have left is six feet, rich or poor, six feet.”
“Six feet”
“I hope Robert Mugabe knows this. I hope Grace Mugabe knows.”
“Why Robert Mugabe?”
“Didn’t you read that story about 50-year old Grace Mugabe, First Lady of Zimbabwe, buying her Robert, a special wheelchair?”
“The way you pronounced Robert, you make it sound like Robot”
“Isn’t that what the 91-year old President of Zimbabwe has become, a Robot. Grace Mugabe’s Robot”
“Sad. In his days, Robert Mugabe, multiple degrees holder, was a shining star. And now, his wife is pushing him around”
“She actually has a PhD, awarded in two months, without examination or dissertation, by her Robert in his capacity as Chancellor of the University of Zimbabwe!”
“Mugabe! A Pan-Africanist, who stood up to the British and neo-colonial imperialism; today, he is falling down at public functions, he reads the wrong speech in parliament, he is old and tired, and yet he won’t quit.”
“He should. Zimbabwe already has the oldest President in the world, and he has been in power since 1980- 35 years!”
“With a wife like “Dis Grace” Mugabe, he won’t. She says she is ready to push the wheelchair herself, just in case anybody is in any doubt.”
“I won’t put anything past that woman. Didn’t she once proclaim that any woman who wears mini-skirt and gets raped should not complain? Is that not the same woman who punched a journalist in the face during a foreign visit?”
“Mugabe has stayed too long and has allowed a woman to destroy his legacy. He is so smitten with “Dis-Grace”, he allegedly fired his Chief of Defence Staff last year for staring at her derriere!”
“That’s madness.”
“But the woman get am oh. The thing dey; very seriously. And you know in that part of Africa, the women don’t need to buy it and enhance it like Kim Kardashian, the thing just dey and you can lose your head.”
“I think someday in Africa, we’d have to start voting for these First Ladies too. Voters should be given the right to choose the President’s wife, or at least they should be screened by parliament. In Africa, the wives wield so much influence.”
“They do in other places too. It is the man that matters.”
“When Mugabe sits in that wheelchair, Zimbabwe is finished!”
“For democracy to work, we need to worry about the leadership recruitment process in Africa. How do we free democracy from a debilitating sense and culture of entitlement. How do we get persons who are still up to it, and who will not aspire to rule till they are on wheelchair or life-long medication.”
““All men who play God and who aspire to be God, let them be reminded, it is just six feet. In Cameroon, Paul Biya has been sitting tight for 33 years, in Congo, Nguesso has been in power for 36 years, in Equitorial Guinea, Mbasogo is almost a god in human form. And you have dos Santos in Angola (36 years) Bashir in Sudan (22 years) Museveni in Uganda (29 years), Idris Deby in Chad (25 years) and Jammeh in Gambia (21 years).”
“Six feet. Just six feet in the grave.”
“I hope they all know.”
“It is also a lesson for the poor, including those young ones who play God with their talents.”
“Absolutely. There are people these days who play God with their laptops, their pens and I-pads. Imagine some people jubilating over other people’s misfortune.”
“Six feet, my brother, not an inch more nor less. In the grave, all men are equal.” [myad]