President Muhammadu Buhari joins President Jacob Zuma of South Africa, President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe (Chairman African Union) and other African Heads of States in a group photograph, popularly referred to as ‘Family Photo’ at the opening of the 25th African Union (AU) Summit in Johannesburg, South Africa, today, June 14th. [myad]
One of the greatest challenges in marriage is navigating the differences between the typical male thought process and the typical female thought process. God (in His wisdom and His sense of humor). gave men and women very different perspectives. When these differences are understood, the husband and wife can harmonize with each other and see the world with more depth and perspective than either could do alone.
To help ladies understand the mind of your man, I’ve listed below the main things that seem to dominate our thoughts. I hope these insights spark some rich conversations in your marriage.
If your husband is like most guys, his thoughts are probably dominated by…
(In no particular order)
This one might surprise you, but most husbands can never be happier than they believe their wife is. Your happiness, contentment and joy is of the utmost importance. Sometimes our own selfishness and pride gets in the way, but your happiness is a consistent thought. When you are unhappy (or you seem unhappy), we’ll try to figure out how to make it right.
This one probably isn’t a shocker, but we actually think about sex even more than you think we do. It dominates our thoughts. In fact, most of us wish we could dial down our mental sex drive. We’ll often gauge the health of our marriage based on the health of our sex life.
Most guys are results-driven, and even if your husband has achieved “success” in life, chances are he still feels like he doesn’t measure up in certain areas. Men can be (to a fault) driven to achieve. Engage with your husband in conversation about his goals and dreams and remind him that healthy relationships, not trophies or money, are the ultimate measure of success. We guys need to be reminded of this often.
Men tend to crave silence and solitude in a way most women do not. Men tend to mentally recharge through silence and contemplation while women tend to recharge through conversation and engagement. Again, these are generalizations which don’t apply to every individual, but I’ve observed them to be true in a majority of couples.
This one might seem carnal and shallow, but we think about food all the time. If you took all the brain space we use up thinking about food and s*x, most of us would have the mental capacity to memorize an encyclopedia! I’ve been thinking about my next meal the entire time I’ve been writing this article!
Most men are wired with a need to be a provider for their families. We’ll often think hard about ways to make ends meet and generate more income to provide. Sometimes this healthy need to provide can consume us and evolve into an unhealthy need to generate wealth motivated by selfish ambition more than family provision.
We love seeing modern-day gladiators battle it out on the field and we even will sometimes live vicariously through them (since we all have an inner gladiator inside), but this isn’t the only reason we like sports. We also like sports because on that field or court, everything makes sense. The lines are clearly drawn, the rules are known by all and scoreboard is always in view. We wish all parts of life were this clear and measurable. We want “success” but don’t always know if we’re winning or not in most areas of life.
*Even when a man isn’t into sports, he will usually gravitate to one or more hobbies where he can “keep score.” (Video games, fishing, car shows, poker, etc.) There seems to be a hard-wired desire for structure and/or measurable success in most men’s hobby pursuits.
Just like the “instant replay” in sports, most of us have a few major life regrets or scars inflicted on us that we are tempted to keep replaying in our minds. They haunt us until (or unless) we learn to embrace the richness and depth of God’s grace. If a man won’t embrace grace, he’ll lock himself in a mental prison where he will punish himself (or punish those around him) for the wrongs he’s done or the wrongs that have been done to him.
Every man wants his life to count. He wants to be respected by his family and he wants to make a lasting contribution to the world that will endure beyond his own lifetime. Most men feel the constant pressure of wanting to leave a legacy, but not knowing where to start or how to do it. We often need to be reminded that being a faithful husband and dad is the best legacy of all (even if there’s never a marble statue carved in our honor). [myad]
A Pretoria High Court in South African has issued a temporary ban on Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir from leaving the country after the International Criminal Court (ICC) is apparent response to the request of the ICC for his arrest at the ongoing summit in Johannesburg.
Bashir, who is wanted over alleged war crimes, crimes against humanity and genocide in the Darfur conflict, had been traveling to, mostly, countries that have not joined the ICC. But South Africa is a signatory to the court’s statutes.
The Pretoria Court said in a statement today that it was “compelling respondents to prevent President Omar Al-Bashir from leaving the country until an order is made in this court.”
The hearing is set to take place later today, the opening day of the African Union summit. The ruling came after the Southern African Litigation Centre, a legal rights group, launched an urgent court application to force the authorities to arrest Bashir.
Bashir joined a group photograph of leaders at the summit despite the calls for his arrest. Wearing a blue suit, he stood in the front row for the photograph along with South African host, President Jacob Zuma and Zimbabwe’s President, Robert Mugabe, who is the chairman of the 54-member group.
Mugabe has previously urged African leaders to pull out of the ICC, which critics accuse of targeting Africa. The ICC said in a statement from its headquarters in The Hague that it “calls on South Africa… to spare no effort in ensuring the execution of the arrest warrants” against Bashir.
It said South Africa diplomats had been pressed last month to arrest Bashir if he attended the summit, but that they replied they faced “competing obligations” over the issue. Bashir, 71, seized power in Sudan in an Islamist-backed coup in 1989.
“South Africa has an obligation to arrest him,” Johannesburg-based rights lawyer Gabriel Shumba told AFP. “Failure to do so puts them in the same bracket as other African regimes who have no respect for human rights. It’s actually a test for South Africa.”
Darfur erupted into conflict in 2003 when insurgents mounted a campaign against Bashir’s government, complaining their region was politically and economically marginalised. – ‘Grave crimes’ – More than 300,000 people have been killed in the conflict and fighting has forced some 2.5 million people to flee their homes, the United Nations says.
Khartoum, however, disputes the figures, estimating the death toll at no more than 10,000. “Allowing President al-Bashir into South Africa without arresting him would be a major stain on South Africa’s reputation for promoting justice for grave crimes,” said Elise Keppler of Human Rights Watch.
“South Africa’s legal obligations as an ICC member mean cooperating in al-Bashir’s arrest, not in his travel plans.” The two days of discussions among the member states had been set to focus on the political unrest in Burundi and the migration crisis across the continent. [myad]
Wife of the President, Mrs. Aisha Buhari, has said that the immediate past President of Nigeria, Dr. Goodluck Jonathan was not bad but that the people around him misled him. She made it clear therefore that those who are going to work with her husband, President Muhammadu Buhari should not make the same mistake of derailing the good intentions of her husband.
Mrs. Buhari who was addressing All Progressives Congress’ women and youths at an “Appreciation Dinner” at the old Banquet Hall of the Presidential Villa, Abuja warned those who would be working with her husband to be wary of the fact that it took her husband a journey of 12 years before getting to the position he currently occupies.
According to her, the actions and behaviour of the people around her husband would go a long way in defining his Presidency.
“There is nothing people did not say about the past administration. It is not Jonathan that is not good but the people around him.
“So, the people that are going to be around General Buhari have to be very careful because this election ended peacefully.
“We are praying and hoping that people around him should know that it took him 12 years to get to that position and they must know that they are coming to serve the masses, not General Buhari in person. It is the people that are around him that will determine the political health of our state.”
The President’s wife also promised that the current administration would run an open government, adding that government under her husband would be run in clear departure from what was obtainable under Jonathan when people were allegedly asked to be paying huge amount of money in foreign currency before they could see the President or his wife.
“I will like to inform you that in the past regime, whether it is true or false, only God knows, some people were going round and parading themselves as Personal Assistants.
“If you wanted to see the First Lady, you will pay $30,000 or $50,000 and if you are seeing the President, you will pay all that you have gathered in your lifetime.
“This will not happen in our regime. Whoever asks you to give a single penny in the name of coming to see the President or his wife is not our staff. He is not an APC member, it is a lie. Don’t be deceived,” she said.
She disclosed that she had never participated in her husband’s campaign in the previous elections which he attempted, but that in 2015, the national leader of the APC and former Lagos State Governor, Asiwaju Bola Tinubu, encouraged her to play active role.
She described Buhari as the pillar of her success despite the generation gap between the two of them, adding that it was the President who encouraged her to go to school.
“Many people did not know why I was not appearing for the last three campaigns. I appeared only this time and I think it made a lot of difference. A lot of people said my husband earned four million votes as a result of my campaign.
“We were not sure but with the popularity of my husband, we thought then that he needed female support to cancel all sorts of gender problems people have been attaching to him such as the fact that he kept me under a purdahn. He had never kept me under a purdah even for a moment since I got married to him.
“Even now, by the recent campaigns, it was Bola Ahmed Tinubu who insisted that I should come out and support my husband. Not that I never liked supporting my husband but it all depended on the people around him, that was before.
“And now too, it is the people around him that showed that they wanted me to participate, we did and we have seen the difference.
“My husband is a gender-sensitive human being, having so many girls as his own biological children and then having me as a wife, then you can see the generation gap. He allowed me to go to school. To cut the story short, he is the pillar of my success.”
The President’s wife said when Tinubu continued pestering her to join the campaign train, she talked to her husband who gave his approval.
She said she knew from the beginning that the campaign would not be easy, recalling that the greatest challenge she faced was security.
She recalled how the wife of the governor of Zamfara State had told her that supporters of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) stopped their convoy from returning to Gusau, the state capital up until 4am at a point.
The President’s wife said she also had her own raw deal when she joined the campaign train to Ilorin, Kwara State capital.
Those who attended the dinner included wife of the Vice President, Mrs. Dolapo Osinbajo; wife of the President of the Senate, Mrs. Toyin Saraki; wife of the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Mrs. Gimbia Dogara; wife of the National Chairman of the APC, Mrs. Victoria Odigie-Oyegun; wives of APC state governors, APC female deputy governors; wives of former governors on the platform of the party and other top officials of the party across the country. The national leader of the party, Asiwaju Bola Tinubu, was represented by Senator Babafemi Ojudu. [myad]
Senior Special Assistant to President Muhammadu Buhari on media and publicity, Malam Garba Shehu has denied that Vice-President Yemi Osinbajo, was prevented from attending a meeting held with the National Security Adviser by the President.
Garba Shehu who reacted to the allegation that made the rounds early in the week said: “that is the creation of someone who just wanted to write something. It was on the same day he 9Professor Osinbajo) travelled to Sudan to represent the President, the government and the people of Nigeria at the inauguration of the president of that country.
“He couldn’t have been present in two places at the same time. Osinbajo is the Vice-President of Nigeria. In the absence of the President, he is the President. So, there cannot be dark corners into which he will not be allowed. It is not true.” [myad]
Centre for Social Justice has expressed fear that the 2015 budget as passed by the seventh National Assembly and signed into law by former President Goodluck Jonathan would the nation’s economy to stagnate unless it is re-engineered, restructured and overhauled by President Muhammadu Buhari.
The Lead Director the group, Barrister Eze Onyekwere, in a document analyzing the budget, described some parts of the budget as “frivolous expenditure.
“The 2015 Federal budget as passed by the National Assembly is not the budget of change that Nigerians have been waiting for. It needs to be re-engineered, restructured and overhauled. A dire economic situation needs some adjustments and reforms or else, the country will not just stagnate, it will enter the reverse gear.”
Eze said that despite efforts made by the group to point out frivolous, wasteful and inappropriate expenditure, the National Assembly was “insistent on continuing the waste.
“We still had a lot of votes for welfare packages after the salary, remuneration and perks of office of the staff had been voted. This is an expenditure head unknown to our law. Many agencies still got outrageous sums for refreshment and catering services as if they are running a restaurant chain. It made no sense as it was wasteful.
“It seemed like the budget preparation template was uniform and sent to all MDAs who had to ask for things they needed and those they did not need just to ensure that the template is completely filled. Otherwise, how do you justify MDAs that have no need for uniform requesting and getting approval for one?”
He called on the new administration of Buhari to plug leakages in the system, enhance performance of the Federal Inland Revenue Service, and recover funds due to the Treasury.
He said the new government should ensure that new borrowing will only be done in accordance with the Fiscal Responsibility Act, subject to a cost benefit analysis, reasonable interest rate and long period of amortization.
The Senate had passed the 2015 budget on April 28, following the passage of the same bill by the House of Representatives on April 23, with an expenditure outlay of N4.493 Trillion, up from the N4.425 Trillion which was proposed by the Executive. [myad]
An American woman, Catherine Bridges has given birth to 17 babies over 29 hours at the Indianapolis Memorial Hospital in America, thereby beating the World Record for the most babies in a single pregnancy.
Catherine Bridges and her husband had been trying to have a child for many years and had decided last year to use medical assistance from a fertility clinic in Rhodes Island.
The insemination process was definitely successful, as the couple got an entire litter of seventeen beautiful and identical boys.
The delivery, which took place a week ago surprised doctor Jack Morrow who assisted the woman through the whole operation.
“It was incredible. The babies kept coming and coming and coming and coming… Man! I think I’m gonna have nightmares about this day for a long time! This was my last delivery!”
Meanwhile, the couple has already chosen the names for the boys with an obvious continuity of thought. The names are James, Jacob, Jarod, Jarvis, Jason, Jeffrey, Jeremy, Jerome, Jesse, Jimmy, Joachim, Jonathan, Jonas, Joseph, Julian, Jimbo and Darth Porkinus. [myad]
President Muhammadu Buhari will depart Abuja for South Africa tomorrow, Saturday, to attend the 25th African Union Summit in Johannesburg.
A statement from his special adviser on media and publicity, Mr. Femi Adesina today said that the trip would be the first continental assignment by the President since taking office. He is expected to chair a meeting of the Peace and Security Committee of the African Union during the summit.
The statement said that the President is also expected to hold bilateral talks with other African leaders on the sidelines of the summit to consolidate his ongoing drive to secure Nigeria and neighbouring countries from Boko Haram.
Adesina said that the President will return to Nigeria on Tuesday at the conclusion of the summit which will focus mainly on continental peace and security. [myad]
President Muhammadu Buhari’s wife, Aisha (M) with two of the Chibok girls mothers whose daughters, abducted from their school in April last year, are yet to be found, during their visit to the Presidency in Abuja. It was a moment of emotional outburst as they mothers and Mrs. Buhari cried profusely. [myad]
President Muhammadu Buhari has ordered the Nigerian army to undertake internal inquiry about its operations before he fully embarked on probing the activities of its officers and men.
President Buhari has already determined that one of the first assignments of the incoming Attorney General of the Federation would be to look into the Amnesty International report and advise the government on an appropriate course of action.
In a statement issued by senior special assistant on media and publicity, Mallam Garba Shehu, President Buhari emphasized given that his government will closely study the report released recently by Amnesty International, in which top ranking officers of the Nigerian military were accused of gross abuse of human rights.
“The president is quite disturbed by the allegations contained in the report. The next step is to look into the allegations and confirm or disprove the disturbing details.This is in addition to the internal inquiry he asked the armed services to undertake by themselves,” the presidency official said.
He also emphasized President Buhari’s commitment to human rights, and his promise that there would be no human rights abuses under his government, adding: “any allegation of human rights abuse that takes place during the tenure of President Buhari’s government will be swiftly investigated and dealt with.” [myad]
