All along, I had thought that those who are into scam, criminal activities and 419 are endowed with above average intelligence. As a matter of fact, the expectation is that a 419er should be smart enough to know and understand his or her victim or target before striking.
But not in the case of this dowdy, block head and buffoon who crossed my path in the name of 419.
The man; and I want to believe he is a man, first contacted me by short message service (sms) to my MTN line last Friday thus: “ATTN: Alh. Yusuf O. Usman: You are directed to scan and forward your CV/BIODATA with one recent passport photograph of your true resemblance to Office of the Secretary to the Govt of the Federation (OSGF) for Federal Appointment. Asap via this E-mail:chairman.screeningcommittee@presidency.com : Best wishes, Chief. Williams.PRESS UNIT.OSGF.+2348059828695.”
The first thing that came to my mind was to dismiss the message, because for one, the composition is completely unprofessional, in the context of civil service.
Somehow, another voice in me urged me to respond to the buffoon, just for the purpose of testing his level of intelligence. I therefore obliged him the information he requested, for, it cost me nothing. Indeed, before I responded, I called the so-called Chief Williams on the cellphone number he provided. He sounded real and asked me to be quick in giving the information that was requested.
Not quite 30 minutes after I forwarded the information, the buffoon responded, again, in sms, with the following message: “Attn: YUSUF OZI-USMAN: The OSGF acknowledged receipt of your CV/BIO-DATA and has been forwarded to the vetting committee on federal appointment. Check your mail and Open the pdf Attachment with this security password in capital letters (OSGF1D5) fill the QUESTIONNAIRE. And return back by mail to the office of the secretary to the government of the federation asap. Please accept our congratulation on your appointment. PRESS UNIT. (OSGF).”
Of course, there was no pdf sent and I did not bother to call to ask about it. In fact, my disposition was to close the chapter on this matter. I forgot about it over the weekend and concentrated on more serious businesses; many of them.
But, today, Monday, August 17, the goon called me on my etisalat line more than 20 times with different information, most of which bordered on how my data had been forwarded to security and anti-corruption agencies, including ICPC, EFCC, the Police, the SSS and National Security Adviser (NSA) for vetting.
In his numerous calls, the goon, speaking in a husky voice and in American imitated accent, finally opened the none sense I had been expecting: the usual 419 language -that I needed to settle all the security and anti-corruption agencies involved, with a total of N250,000.00, to fast-track my being cleared, and even congratulated me for the appointment which he never named.
Since I had made up my mind from the beginning to play along with him, and since I was not the one calling him (by wasting my credit), I picked his call each time he did.
He foolishly text his account details to me when I ‘joyfully’ asked him to do so and thanked him for all the efforts he had been making. His account details are: Name – Martins Ofem (not Chief Williams again), Bank – First Bank Nigeria Plc, Account No. 3074798606. He even sent the details four times to the same line from his line: 08124995957.
Of course, through my patience, instead of him to play fast one on me, I have been able to get correct information on him: that his real name is Martins Ofem, along with his bank details and phone numbers. My investigation even showed that a certain Matins Ofem on Facebook, was a graduate of University of Lagos, though styled himself as self-employed, but a jobless lot.
If Nigeria were to be one of these advanced countries, that buffoon would be tracked and picked by security agencies, for, he and his gang might have been swindling innocent people for a long time.
Only that this time, Martins Ofem climbed he who is more intelligence, more calculating, more patience, enough to rope him in.
Sheeeege! [myad]