The Anatomy Of Femi Fani-Kayode, By Olusegun Dada

Ordinarily, someone like Femi Fani Kayode shouldn’t draw me out of essay writing/blogging retirement but since no one else is willing to gag our village mad man, I have offered to.
Who is Femi Fani Kayode? Why does he believe so much in himself? What makes this guy tick?
Why does he feel the need to contribute to social and political commentary like a man with the attention lifespan of a wall gecko?
Why does he always feel the need to be a voice on vital issues on national security?
These are the questions that I get asked every time I discuss Femi’s latest garbage with anyone. He is so painful to watch. Someone who’s parents paid so much to get the best of education and life only for him to turn out to be a village drunk/mad man.
A village drunk is everyone’s source of entertainment. He is the man that is funny to watch on display. He is who, when everyone claps in excitement because of his insanity, he thinks it is actually an approval from his “fans.” He fancies himself a leader. Those who follow him only do for the humor. He is a confused man.
this is an effort in futility. Where do I even start to analyze the man that is Femi Fani-Kayode? As President Olusegun Obasanjo’s spokesman, Minister of Culture and later, Minister of Aviation, he reeked and still reeks of failure in public service, mismanagement of funds kept in his trust, mal-administration and brazen abuse of office.
Until a few weeks back, Femi Fani Kayode was being investigated by the EFCC in connection with the alleged misappropriation of N19.5billion (N19,500,000,000) before the Goodluck Jonathan-led administration wrote off his sins as part of the transformation agenda of the president which has also helped transform and sanitize the likes of DSP Alamieyesiegha, Peter Odili, Olabode George, Ayo Fayose, Iyiola Omisore, Adebayo Alao Akala and, most recently, Tafa Balogun (former Inspector General of Police) and Ali Momodu Sherrif ( former governor of Borno state and rumored Boko Haram biggest sponsor).
Political prostitution is not new in Nigeria, but for the Fani-Kayodes, it is a rite of passage. Femi’s father, Remi Fani-Kayode, was a member of the House of Representatives until he lost the Ife Federal Constituency to an independent candidate, Michael Omisade, a close associate of Chief Awolowo, all of them Action Group members. Remi Fani-Kayode had pleaded with Awolowo to prevail on Chief Omisade not to contest as an independent against him. Awolowo’s reaction was that the electorate should be allowed to decide.
Eventually he was defeated by Omisade in one of the shocking results in the 1959 federal elections. Remi Fani-Kayode, (Femi’s father) resigned from Action Group and joined NCNC, the platform on which he contested the 1961 elections to the Western House of Assembly. He won and became an opposition leader.
A year later, the crisis in Action Group led to declaration of emergency in the Western Region for six months. In January 1963, opposition leader, Remi Fani-Kayode, led his party members into a coalition administration with Chief Samuel Ladoke Akintola, as premier, with his new party, the United Peoples Party. Within weeks, Chief Remi Fani-Kayode and all NCNC members (except a lone star, Chief Richard Akinyemi) crossed the carpet, betrayed NCNC and joined forces for a new party, Nigerian National Democratic Party, NNDP.
Morally, Femi Fani Kayode is as morally bankrupt as Cleopatra of Egypt, as one who isn’t a moralist or anything. Femi surpasses the line drawn for public officers in terms of morality. Allegations from him being a drug addict who went into a rehab home in Ghana not so long ago to using his security detail to brutalize the boyfriend(s) of his numerous women might not be far from the reasons why he is almost always erratic.
Femi Fani-Kayode is a disease. With every sentence emanating from his lips embedded in pure human waste. Femi is also the definition of a small man. A pictorial definition of men who younger men should never grow up to be like. Everything that Femi Fani-Kayode has done and will do has been done by someone in the past.
People like Femi end up in history as people who came, saw and became ‘A’ Class dogs for other people. In the dustbin of history. I must also use this medium to apologize for the strong words that may have offended the loyal readers of this column and to ask for the continuous prayers of our readers for the president to remember Fani-Kayode and bless him with an appointment soon. [myad]