The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN), has exempted salary earners and individual depositor from the N50 Stamp Duty policy which it has just introduced.
The CBN Director, Corporate Communications, Malam Ibrahim Mu’azu, in a statements said that payments of salaries and wages as well as payments and deposits for self-to-self transactions whether inter or intra bank are exempted.
Mu’azu said that charge was on all receipts issued by banks or financial institutions in acknowledgment of services rendered in respect of teller deposits and electronic transfers for a value of N1,000 and above.
“The implementation of the Stamp Duty at this point in time emanated from a Federal High Court order that the CBN should direct deposit money banks under its supervision to commence the collection of the duty on behalf of the federal government.
“Consequently, the money deposit banks have been directed to commence the collection of the duty.
“Banks are to collect the N50 stamp duty and remit same to the Nigerian Postal Services (NIPOST) on behalf of the customer.
“There are however some exemptions and these include payments of salaries and wages, payments and deposits for self-to-self transactions whether inter or intra bank among others.
“The N50 stamp duty is charged per transaction and NOT per volume. Hence, irrespective of the amount, the sum of N50 is to be charged provided such a transaction is N1,000 and above.” [myad]
42-year-old pastor, Chidiebere Ikpa, has been arrested by the Lagos State Police Command for allegedly raping his 14-year-old stepdaughter in the Surulere area of the state.
The unidentified victim, a Senior Secondary 2 student who reported the incident to the police, insisted she was raped by the pastor on several occasions.
However, on his part, Ikpa denied the allegation, saying that it was a neighbour, whom he identified only as Richard, that defiled the 14-year-old girl, and that he decided not to report the matter to the police because he (Ikpa) had a forgiving character.
The victim (name withheld) said she told her mother about it every time the pastor had canal knowledge of her. She added that whenever she told her mother about it, she usually shouted her down, and refused to take any action on the matter.
The accused, who hails from the Bende Local Government Area of Abia State, was arrested by policemen from the Isokoko division, while the victim was taken for medical examination at the Mirabel Centre, Ikeja.
A police source disclosed that the victim reported that Ikpa had allegedly been sleeping with her since she was ten years old and was the one who ‘deflowered’ her.
According to the source, the victim claimed that the suspect deflowered her when she was 10 years. He had allegedly been sexually molesting the girl since that time.
“The victim’s mother is culpable because she knew about the abuses. The girl said it was when her mother failed to take concrete steps that she came to the police.”
Meanwhile, the pastor, on denying the allegation, said he flogged the girl last Thursday and she disappeared from the house, not knowing she came to the police to lie against him.
“The girl started living with me when she was 12 or thereabout. That was around 2012. It is not true that I raped her. I flogged her on Thursday for being rude and she did not return home after school. We did not see her until Friday. She had been with the police.
“The girl has a boyfriend; his name is Richard. He is the manager of a hotel on Rasak Balogun Street. If the medical result shows someone has been sleeping with her, then it is Richard, not me.
“It is a mystery to me that the girl is claiming that I slept with her. When we caught Richard and confronted him sometime last year, he started begging. The mistake I made was that I did not report to the police.
“My wife got furious and said we must report the matter to the police, but the man started begging, sending text messages to me. I forgave him. I am a pastor,” Ikpa added.
“I was working under a church, but since I moved to this area, I have not pastored any church.”
The victim said Ikpa was lying and he had slept with her on several occasions.
She said: “The first time that he would rape me was about five years ago. My mother sent me to give food to him in his own house. I was then staying in my father’s house. That was when he took advantage of me and raped me.
“The man he mentioned is not my boyfriend. Richard was the man I reported to when I told my mother about the rape and she did not believe me. Richard advised me to leave everything to God.
“Sometimes, when everyone was sleeping, he would come to the room where I was with my other sisters and he would rape me. I would be hitting my sisters trying to wake them, but they did not wake at such times.”
The Lagos State Police Public Relations Officer, SP Dolapo Badmos, confirmed the pastor’s arrest.
“The pastor’s arrest is confirmed. He was transferred from FESTAC to the Isokoko division for further action,” the PPRO confirmed. [myad]
“Your fellow columnists. See how they are attacking the Minister of Interior, General Abdulrahman Dambazau, just because an orderly helped to shine his shoes in public.”
“I really don’t see what the hoopla is all about”
“Me too”
“I think many of our people just like to talk about shoes. For five years, Nigerians kept talking about how former President Goodluck Jonathan had no shoes as a child.”
“But he was the one that started it. Last week or so, the former President was again talking about shoes. In America.”
“I think people love shoes. That is why they won’t also allow Dambazau to rest over his shoes.”
“Read what your friend has written here. He says the orderly was subjecting himself to indignity by bending down to shine his oga’s shoes at a public ceremony.”
“He doesn’t understand. Many of the commentators are probably thinking of their own type of shoes. When you see some shoes, you’d certainly not want a speck of dust anywhere close by. There are shoes and there are shoes. All these people making noise, have they seen some shoes?”
“Someone once showed me his pair of shoes which he said he bought for 2, 000 pounds. I swear I’d gladly clean such shoes even if it is at a solemn funeral.”
“Do you have any idea the type of shoes the Minister was wearing?”
“No. But what does it matter? My point really is that people should stop blaming the Minister. Look when you are in public office, things like that happen. It is the duty of your aides to make sure you look good all the time. “
“I agree. A Minister of the Federal Republic must always be impeccably dressed. If you ask me to choose between Minister Dambazau and that one that wears beret and dresses as if he is going for a Man O’ War session, I’ll choose Dambazau any day.”
“My own point is that nobody should blame the Interior Minister. It is not as if he summoned the orderly and asked him to start shining his shoes in public. These things happen. We should blame the aide. Aides in government corridors are too sycophantic, sometimes, they don’t fit the occasion to the act.”
“I have seen quite a few of such aides. I once went with someone to visit a state Governor. The Governor was the only one sitting on a sofa. All his aides including commissioners sat on the floor. I didn’t know what to do, whether to stand or join the aides on the floor. “
“Those aides often respond to their oga’s body language though. And what did you do?”
“Me? I sat down on the sofa oh. I think it is the aides who are guilty. It is a peculiar kind of ailment: it is called eye service.”
“I know. We don’t really have a civil service.”
“We have an eye service. Anything that will make the boss happy, even if the same aides will later turn around and bad mouth the same boss.”
“You know in some government houses, aides behave like robots. When their boss stands up, they also stand. When the boss sits down, they too sit down. They eat what eats, and when they see the big man’s wife, they start grinning from ear to ear.”
“I have seen otherwise educated aides carrying bags for their Oga’s wife.”
“And you know they don’t need to be forced to do all that. People just do it. It is a way of showing loyalty”
“But I think your friend’s point in this article is that the big men should discourage such behaviour.”
“Have you not seen where people kneel down to talk to their boss? Even when they are asked to stand up or sit down, you’d see adults saying, let me remain on the ground sir. I am fine sir, Your Excellency. I am afraid one of these days, you’d see an aide prostrating publicly to make their boss feel good. Don’t blame the boss, blame the aide.”
“I still believe that some big men actually enjoy it. An old friend lost his job as a commissioner because he had developed the habit of arguing with the Governor at Council meetings. He refused to behave like other commissioners, the oga-is-always-right crowd.”
“Any boss that is always right cannot get it right.”
“You know, the guy told me that at a particular Council meeting, one of his colleagues stood up and told the Governor, sir in fact, I have been meaning to tell you, I don’t know how you do it, you are the wisest man I have ever seen, the best strategist in the world, the best thing to have ever happened to our state. Then, he asked other council members to give the Governor three gbosas. Our friend said he was shocked.”
“So, did he expect the Governor to sack the praise-singer?”
“That particular commissioner always got anything he wanted. Someone like that would willingly clean the Governor’s shoes, he’d in fact gladly do it. ”
“I imagine that it is the same in the corporate world. Some company executives behave like houseboys.”
“It is a Nigerian thing, then. I am sure if General Dambazau had asked that guy not to shine his shoes in public, he would have been very upset. He would think he has fallen out of favour. He was happy serving the boss, the same way policemen are happy to carry bags for other people’s wives.’
“It’s human nature. It’s this whole thing about the survival of the fittest.”
“Like surviving Lassa fever?”
“My brother! That’s frightening. I understand up to about 63 people have died already in 17 states, and that more may die.”
“The Minister of Health, Professor Isaac Adewole says the Nigerian Government will write the obituary of Lassa fever by April.”
“I hope so. If it is possible to do it before April, that will help, because the way Lassa fever is writing the obituary of so many people, it may turn out to be worse than Ebola virus.”
“I think the Minister and his team, and the various state governments are doing a good job of alerting the public to the dangers of Lassa fever. Even government agencies like the NYSC have deployed public enlightenment teams to market places.”
“One man ran away from a hospital while being treated for Lassa fever. May be government should begin to quarantine people. These days, when I see anybody looking sick, even if it is ordinary fever, I start by imagining the worst and I keep my distance.”
“I hear some people eat house rats.”
“What?”
“Then, public enlightenment should become even more vigorous. Eat rat? How can anybody eat Okon Calabar?”
“Who is that?”
“Okon Calabar. That’s what we called rats when I was in school. You know some of these big rats that don’t run away from human beings. When they see you, they actually act like they want to jump on you. I believe those are the real multi mammate rats.”
“I have asked somebody to help me buy two cats.”
“You have rats in your house? What kind of house is that? Where do you live?”
“I live in Babana Island.”
“Babana Island. Not Banana Island? Oh, Babana. That island that is around Abule Egba, close to one refuse dump”
“You no well.”
“When your house is dirty, and nothing is well kept, you’d breed rats, of course.”
“I don’t live in dirty surroundings. I am just taking precautions. And take my advice, also try and buy cats. Let’s kill all the rats in Nigeria.”
“I like that. Let’s kill the rats and save lives. But you don’t need cats, get a fumigator to drive all dangerous things away from your house: rats, cockroaches, mosquitoes.”
“The cost of fumigation has gone up. I hear fumigators are making serious gains now.”
“Very soon, the cost of cats will also rise. “
“Cats?”
“Yes. Don’t you know that everything is business in this country?”
“There are too many human rats out there ready to take advantage.”
“What do you mean human rats?”
“You don’t know some human beings are like rats, causing fever?
“You are speaking in tongues. Okay, name one human rat that you know.”
“I am looking at one right now.”
“Me?”
“Yes”
“No. I am not. You should be talking to those militants in the Niger Delta who are again sabotaging the country by blowing up oil installations, and giving the Federal Government conditions.”
“The Port Harcourt, Warri, and Kaduna refineries have been shut down due to pipeline vandalism. At this rate, we ‘d soon buy fuel at N200 per litre.”
“God knows we can’t afford another round of Niger Delta militancy. We have Boko Haram. We have the Biafra “secessionists.” And now Niger Delta militants are back to the creeks and trying to reverse the gains of the amnesty programme. In the end, we will all suffer for it.”
“Don’ t worry, those boys will be dealt with.”
“At what cost? It is better to nip the crisis in the bud.”
“How? By begging the militants? The Federal Government has made it clear that it will not succumb to blackmail.”
“Who is talking about blackmail?”
“Wahala today. Wahala tomorrow. This Nigeria sef.”
“Yes oh. They are even saying we will now pay stamp duty on all monies paid into our bank accounts once the amount is over N1, 000. When you add that to other bank charges, how much is left?”
“My friend, it is just N50.”
“It is not just N50. Why must I dash government money? Is government now begging for alms? Is it that bad? If I want to give anybody alms, it should be my decision.”
“There is a law called Stamp Duties Act. They want to enforce the law.”
“So, a bank is now a branch of the Post Office? If anybody posts money into my account, government will force me to buy stamp? And yet we want a cashless society? Very soon, people will stop doing electronic transfers.”
“Don’t be stingy. Be a good citizen.”
“N50 on every transaction. For people who run active accounts, that could amount to very heavy tax by the end of a month. You know what? I think they should just re-name the banks and call them post offices, since they are now selling stamps.”
A new study conducted by the World Wide Interweb has revealed some more shocking information about how the male anatomy works and the results.
The first study investigated whether men’s access to resources, or, more technically, their “resource security,” would influence their preferences for chest size in women. One view on human female chest size is that it may act as a signal of fat reserves, which in turn advertises access to resources.
Anchored in this understanding, psychologists Viren Swami and Martin Tovée carried out two experiments to test whether men experiencing relative resource insecurity (that is, those who lack material goods) would find larger breasts more desirable than men experiencing resource security (those who have material goods).
The first experiment explored the relationship between financial security and men’s preferences in chest size. The authors recruited 266 men from three sites in Malaysia that varied in socioeconomic status (low, medium, and high). These participants were shown a series of five animated female figures that varied only in terms of chest size, and then rated them for physical attractiveness on a five-point scale. What did the researchers find? The men from the low socioeconomic background rated bigger breasts as more attractive than did men from the medium socioeconomic background, who in turn endorsed larger breasts as more appealing than men from the high socioeconomic background. In other words, poorer men liked larger breasts.
In the second experiment, the researchers compared the chest size ratings of 66 hungry versus 58 satiated male university students to test whether food security impacted their preferences. These men were asked to participate in the study as they entered or exited campus dining halls during dinner, from approximately 6:00 to 7:00 pm. (Because ethnicity is known to influence chest size preferences, the investigators invited only white British men to participate in this study). They were subsequently presented with the same animated series of female figures that was used in the previous experiment. The researchers then crunched the numbers. What did the results reveal? The hungry men preferred bigger breasts substantially more than the satiated group.
The second study was based on alternate evolutionary perspective on chest size, which maintains that it is a signal of a woman’s capacity to bear and nurture children. Indeed, there is a positive association between levels of estradiol, a fertility-related hormone, and larger chest size; in turn, the combination of larger breasts and a smaller waist-to-hip ratio seems to be linked to a significantly greater likelihood of conceiving. From here, researchers Christopher Burris and Armand Munteanu reasoned that men who are less willing to become a father would also find larger breasts less appealing. [myad]
Borno Elders’ Forum (BEF) has finally identified those who have been behind the sponsorship of Boko Haram.
The elders declared: “The people who sponsored the activities of Boko Haram or those who deliberately turned away from their official responsibilities on security issues, or those who looted the funds meant for the prosecution of the war against Boko Haram, and those who spoke or continue to speak in their favour are all one and the same.”
In a statement today by their leader, Ambassador Usman Gaji Galtimari swore that the bulk of them are those who benefited from the “sharing” of money meant for arms purchase.
Galtimari said that since the outbreak of the Boko Haram uprising from 2009 to date, BEF had been voicing out at every critical stage of the crisis, proffering possible ways of addressing very critical security and social issues.
The statement titled: “Boko Haram carnage and corruption, support for the federal government,” reads:
“Until the advent of the current government under President Muhammadu Buhari, we were ignored. We are somehow relieved that not only the present Government but the generality of our Nigerian compatriots are now showing great understanding and compassion on our sorry state of existence.
“We thank God for that. We are and will remain eternally grateful to President Buhari and the gallant, patriotic armed forces of Nigeria for the turn of events in our land.
“However, we feel disturbed and even betrayed by some Nigerians who seem to justify the carnage perpetrated upon our people. The massive killing of our people, the wholesome destruction of our settlements, the massive humanitarian crisis faced by over million internally displaced persons, the creation of hundreds of thousands of widows and orphans and so on, seem to be of no consequence to some Nigerians.
“The people who sponsored the activities of Boko Haram or those who deliberately turned away from their official responsibilities on security issues, or those who looted the funds meant for the prosecution of the war against Boko Haram, and those who spoke or continue to speak in their favour are all one and the same.
“They all individually and collectively aided and sponsored the Boko Haram insurgency. They colluded to ensure the death of our brave soldiers, our innocent people and the near total destruction of our society. Nigerians should stand by us and collectively assist to bring those responsible to book.
“It does not speak well of any Nigerian, for whatever reason, to fight or criticize the President of Nigeria or calling our anti–corruption agencies names when they simply want to make offenders pay for the crimes most of them have confessed to have committed.
“Much has been said about the sponsors of Boko Haram. With the horrifying revelations about the ‘Arms Deal’, it is no longer necessary to continue delaying the search for the real sponsors of Boko Haram.
“Those who collected such huge sums of money from the national treasury and converted same for their unending greed and avarice, should be regarded as part and parcel of the sponsors of Boko Haram. Get them and you will get the rest.
“We feel hurt and betrayed that some Nigerians are politicizing this despicable issue of ‘Arms Deal.’ People are rushing to our courts of law to manipulate the law, taking cover under the canopy of the constitution and misinterpreted human rights dicta to confuse the nation. Even the constitution itself has balanced interests of people against the interest of individuals.
“In this case, the interest of the victims should prevail when it comes to justice. Let those Nigerians know that thousands of Nigerians perished due to the misuse of funds meant for security not only the ‘Arms Deal’ case but several other instances before it. Playing politics with those issues is to condone the loss of lives and the destruction of our livelihood.
“Nigerians should allow the Federal Government and its relevant agencies to bring to book all those found to be involved in any act of omission or commission. Condoning blood money is to be equally bloody.
“While we urge government to urgently take statistics of all those who perished to enable the nation cater for the aftermath, we plead with fellow Nigerians to please allow the government go after the criminals and not confuse the polity. We are aggrieved and any further aggravation of our agony would be most inhuman.
“We equally plead with Mr. President, the National Assembly, the Judiciary and all anti-corruption/crime bursting agencies to dispense justice accordingly. We cry for justice.” [myad]
Ebonyi State Governor, Engr. David Umahi; Kano State Governor, Alhaji Umar Ganduje and Bauchi State Governor, Barr. Mohammed Abubakar, at the signing of an agreement between the Federal Government and the Bill Gates and Melinda Foundation on the production of vaccine for prevention of future outbreak of polio in Nigeria at the Presidential Villa in Abuja on Wednesday. [myad]
The Kusenla 111, The Elegushi of Ikateland in Lagos state, Oba Saheed Ademola Elegushi has vouch-safe for the ability of Governor Akinwunmi Ambode’s administration to provide the much desired infrastructural, economic and social development of the state in no distant future. In a statement by his Executive Secretary, Mr. Bamidele Ijagbemi, the monarch said that he is sure that the Lagos state has entered another era of superlative performance in infrastructural development and social welfare”. “As the traditional ruler of Ikate Elegushi Land, the welfare of the people and development of Lagos State are most paramount to me. My role as a ruler is to influence, initiate and drive development, and I am happy to find Governor Akinwunmi a willing partner. The Governor is a change agent whose tenure will increase the pace of development in Lagos State.” Oba Elegushi described the Governor as a man that can be trusted and relied upon. “For people who might not know, the current Governor has a track record of performance and history of accomplishments. He had served in different capacities in the administration of the state prior to his election as Lagos State Governor. I can assure everyone that his extensive knowledge and experience position him to effectively steer Lagos State to greater heights.” The monarch said that since the country returned to democracy in 1999, Lagos State has benefitted from quality leadership, and this is evident in the quantum of progress recorded by the state over that period. “From the days of Asiwaju Ahmed Bola Tinubu, who had the herculean task of cleansing the state of the debris of military dictatorship and creating a master plan for the state, to Mr. Babatunde Raji Fashola who brought to life the beauty of the master plan. Lagos State has demonstrated that foresight and purposeful governance is critical to growth and development, and this tradition will continue with Governor Ambode to make Lagos greater.” Oba Ademola Saheed Elegushi described Babatunde Raji Fashola, the Minister of Power, Works and House as a shinning example of responsible leadership that streamed out of the Asiwaju Ahmed Bola Tinubu School of Thought, even as he enjoined Lagosians to be patient with the incumbent Governor who has just settled down to deliver dividends of democracy to every resident of Lagos State. He emphasized that Governor Akinwunmi Ambode is a “rich blend of maturity, ingenuity, selflessness and sagacity which will make his tenure smooth and phenomenally successful.” The monarch also sounded a note of warning to persons of questionable character lurking in the state that “their time is up” and urged them to “turn a new leaf and be reintegrated into the society, or face the fury of the law because it is clear that there is no place for criminals in Lagos State with the recent empowerment of Nigeria Police Force and other security agencies in the state with helicopters, flying boats, motorbikes and cars. [myad]
Lagos State Commissioner for Home Affairs, Hon. Abdul-Lateef Abdul Hakeem has said that the government had made both Muslims and Christians development partners for the purpose of moving the state forward. He said that the cordial relationship established and promoted by the State Government among the adherent of the different religious beliefs has been largely responsible for the peace in the State to, even as he vowed that religious crisis cannot occur if such cordiality is maintained. The Commissioner spoke when he received the Special Representative for Religion and Global Affairs, US Department of States, Shaun Casey and the Political/Economic Section Chief, United States Consulate General, Thomas Hines who paid a courtesy visit to his Office at Alausa, Ikeja. According to Abdul Hakeem, the State Government has identified religion as a vehicle through which peaceful co-existence can be maintained within the State and has accorded the leaders of the two major religions, Islam and Christianity, the status of developmental partners in the State. He added that as developmental partners, government expects leaders of these two bodies to serve the dual roles of spiritual rejuvenation and influencers of government policy on religion in their respective places of worship. “The State Government believes that the integration of religious leaders as development partners in Government policy formulation and execution will expedite quick acceptance of government’s plans and programmes by followers of various religious bodies because of the respect and reverence they have for their leaders.” The Commissioner maintained that the intention of the government to make the State a safe haven for every resident is also corroborated by the activities of the Nigeria Inter-Religious Council (Lagos Chapter), whose core functions include mediation, dialogue and peaceful resolution of any friction or misunderstanding that might arise from time to time. The Commissioner said that religious leaders have crucial roles to play in increasing the level of religious tolerance among their followers and as such need to be civil in the content of their sermons. Earlier, Shaun Casey, who led the US delegation, said that the visit was aimed at understudying the peaceful co-existence among the various religious bodies in Lagos and seek areas of collaboration. The US representatives advised the State Government to expand its oversight functions on religious matters to include enlightening religious bodies on proper management of funds, administration, training, social interactions and synchronisation of syllabus in their various institutions of training. Casey said that the primary responsibility of his Office is to deal with issues of security, help rebuild the economy and give active support to the anti-corruption drive of President Muhamadu Buhari. He urged religious leaders to support and collaborate with the Federal Government in its anti-corruption drive, dissociate themselves from accused looters of public funds and preach against corrupt practices in their sermons. The representative said that the U.S. government will seek partnership with the State Government on projects aimed at achieving the primary focus of his office. [myad]
Minister of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), Malam Muhammad Musa Bello has made it clear that allocation of land in the Capital city must be done through the FCT Land Use and Allocation Committee. The minister, at a meeting with the senior officials of the Department of Land Administration today at the Banquet Hall, Minister’s official residence, Gwarinpa I District (Life-Camp), Abuja, stressed that his administration would not condone arbitrary allocations of land in the Territory, as all land allocation must follow due process by following all extant rules. “Due process must be followed in all land dealings in the Federal Capital Territory because the rules must be followed to bring sanity to that sub-sector.” The minister directed the Satellite Towns Development Department (STDD) to immediately relocate to Karshi Satellite Town to enable them focus on their job. According to him, the relocation has become necessary to enable the department perform it functions properly. Malam Musa Bello instructed that the STDD must concentrate on road network to open up the rural areas and ease pressure on the existing ones. He directed the Management of the STDD to liaise with the Chairmen of the six Area Councils to fine tune ways of making and keeping the Area Councils and Satellite Towns clean at all times. This is even as the FCT Permanent Secretary, Dr. Babatope Ajakaiye has said that commercial motorcycles (Okada) and tricycles (Keke Napep) remain banned from operating within the 250 square kilometers of the Federal Capital City, Abuja. The Permanent Secretary who made this known as he had a meeting with the Executive Officers of the sector unions of the Okada/Keke-Napep Owners and Riders at the FCT Minister’s Conference Room, Area 11, Garki I District, Abuja, said that tricycles and motorcycles, popularly called Okada and Keke would only operate outside the city centre and designated areas like estates and Area Councils respectively. Dr. Ajakaiye stated that the Abuja Master Plan did not make provision for Okada and Keke to ply in the Abuja city centre; adding that the FCT Administration would ensure this law is not flouted. “Okada remains banned throughout the Abuja city centre and Keke will also not operate within the city centre too, except in designated areas like estates.” He said that majority of the roads in the Abuja city are express roads, because the Abuja Master Plan as well as the Abuja Transportation Master Plan never envisaged the use of commercial motorcycles and Keke Napep. According to him, commercial motorcycles are injurious to the riders as well as the passengers and the government has a duty to protect the lives and property of all her Citizens. Subsequently, the Permanent Secretary read out the resolutions after the meeting, which was all agreed and adopted by the stakeholders present. The stakeholders at the meeting resolved that no Okada and Keke must operate in the City Centre and that they immediately form Associations to be registered with the FCT Directorate of Road Traffic Services (VIO). All commercial riders of tricycle or motorcycle, it was agreed, must belong to one of the Unions or Association for easy identification and control, particularly with the prevailing security situation in the country. [myad]
President Muhammadu Buhari accepted an invitation to serve as Grand Patron of a group that has launched a big war against cancer for 2016, going by the name “Committee Empowering Corporate Philanthropy in Nigeria.” Receiving the group led by Nigeria’s former High Commissioner to the United Kingdom, Dr. Christopher Kolade, at the Presidential Villa, Abuja, President Buhari said that the Federal Ministry of Health will work in close concert with the committee. The committee has “Big War Against Cancer” as its focal point for 2016. Dr. Kolade told President Buhari that the committee is aimed at promoting philanthropy nationwide, and encouraging organizations and individuals to use their resources to help others. “As father of the nation, we want you to be our Grand Patron, so that you can give us the benefit of your support for the things we do. Your integrity and credibility will serve us in good stead,” Dr. Kolade said. He added that the war against cancer can be won, if both the government and the private sector support the acquisition of mobile cancer centres, which could be deployed in all states of the federation, and Abuja. President Buhari was decorated with the garland of the committee and presented with a plaque of the organization. [myad]
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The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN), has exempted salary earners and individual depositor from the N50 Stamp Duty policy which it has just introduced.
Inside Dambazau’s Shoes, By Reuben Abati
“Who?”
“Your fellow columnists. See how they are attacking the Minister of Interior, General Abdulrahman Dambazau, just because an orderly helped to shine his shoes in public.”
“I really don’t see what the hoopla is all about”
“Me too”
“I think many of our people just like to talk about shoes. For five years, Nigerians kept talking about how former President Goodluck Jonathan had no shoes as a child.”
“But he was the one that started it. Last week or so, the former President was again talking about shoes. In America.”
“I think people love shoes. That is why they won’t also allow Dambazau to rest over his shoes.”
“Read what your friend has written here. He says the orderly was subjecting himself to indignity by bending down to shine his oga’s shoes at a public ceremony.”
“He doesn’t understand. Many of the commentators are probably thinking of their own type of shoes. When you see some shoes, you’d certainly not want a speck of dust anywhere close by. There are shoes and there are shoes. All these people making noise, have they seen some shoes?”
“Someone once showed me his pair of shoes which he said he bought for 2, 000 pounds. I swear I’d gladly clean such shoes even if it is at a solemn funeral.”
“Do you have any idea the type of shoes the Minister was wearing?”
“No. But what does it matter? My point really is that people should stop blaming the Minister. Look when you are in public office, things like that happen. It is the duty of your aides to make sure you look good all the time. “
“I agree. A Minister of the Federal Republic must always be impeccably dressed. If you ask me to choose between Minister Dambazau and that one that wears beret and dresses as if he is going for a Man O’ War session, I’ll choose Dambazau any day.”
“My own point is that nobody should blame the Interior Minister. It is not as if he summoned the orderly and asked him to start shining his shoes in public. These things happen. We should blame the aide. Aides in government corridors are too sycophantic, sometimes, they don’t fit the occasion to the act.”
“I have seen quite a few of such aides. I once went with someone to visit a state Governor. The Governor was the only one sitting on a sofa. All his aides including commissioners sat on the floor. I didn’t know what to do, whether to stand or join the aides on the floor. “
“Those aides often respond to their oga’s body language though. And what did you do?”
“Me? I sat down on the sofa oh. I think it is the aides who are guilty. It is a peculiar kind of ailment: it is called eye service.”
“I know. We don’t really have a civil service.”
“We have an eye service. Anything that will make the boss happy, even if the same aides will later turn around and bad mouth the same boss.”
“You know in some government houses, aides behave like robots. When their boss stands up, they also stand. When the boss sits down, they too sit down. They eat what eats, and when they see the big man’s wife, they start grinning from ear to ear.”
“I have seen otherwise educated aides carrying bags for their Oga’s wife.”
“And you know they don’t need to be forced to do all that. People just do it. It is a way of showing loyalty”
“But I think your friend’s point in this article is that the big men should discourage such behaviour.”
“Have you not seen where people kneel down to talk to their boss? Even when they are asked to stand up or sit down, you’d see adults saying, let me remain on the ground sir. I am fine sir, Your Excellency. I am afraid one of these days, you’d see an aide prostrating publicly to make their boss feel good. Don’t blame the boss, blame the aide.”
“I still believe that some big men actually enjoy it. An old friend lost his job as a commissioner because he had developed the habit of arguing with the Governor at Council meetings. He refused to behave like other commissioners, the oga-is-always-right crowd.”
“Any boss that is always right cannot get it right.”
“You know, the guy told me that at a particular Council meeting, one of his colleagues stood up and told the Governor, sir in fact, I have been meaning to tell you, I don’t know how you do it, you are the wisest man I have ever seen, the best strategist in the world, the best thing to have ever happened to our state. Then, he asked other council members to give the Governor three gbosas. Our friend said he was shocked.”
“So, did he expect the Governor to sack the praise-singer?”
“That particular commissioner always got anything he wanted. Someone like that would willingly clean the Governor’s shoes, he’d in fact gladly do it. ”
“I imagine that it is the same in the corporate world. Some company executives behave like houseboys.”
“It is a Nigerian thing, then. I am sure if General Dambazau had asked that guy not to shine his shoes in public, he would have been very upset. He would think he has fallen out of favour. He was happy serving the boss, the same way policemen are happy to carry bags for other people’s wives.’
“It’s human nature. It’s this whole thing about the survival of the fittest.”
“Like surviving Lassa fever?”
“My brother! That’s frightening. I understand up to about 63 people have died already in 17 states, and that more may die.”
“The Minister of Health, Professor Isaac Adewole says the Nigerian Government will write the obituary of Lassa fever by April.”
“I hope so. If it is possible to do it before April, that will help, because the way Lassa fever is writing the obituary of so many people, it may turn out to be worse than Ebola virus.”
“I think the Minister and his team, and the various state governments are doing a good job of alerting the public to the dangers of Lassa fever. Even government agencies like the NYSC have deployed public enlightenment teams to market places.”
“One man ran away from a hospital while being treated for Lassa fever. May be government should begin to quarantine people. These days, when I see anybody looking sick, even if it is ordinary fever, I start by imagining the worst and I keep my distance.”
“I hear some people eat house rats.”
“What?”
“Then, public enlightenment should become even more vigorous. Eat rat? How can anybody eat Okon Calabar?”
“Who is that?”
“Okon Calabar. That’s what we called rats when I was in school. You know some of these big rats that don’t run away from human beings. When they see you, they actually act like they want to jump on you. I believe those are the real multi mammate rats.”
“I have asked somebody to help me buy two cats.”
“You have rats in your house? What kind of house is that? Where do you live?”
“I live in Babana Island.”
“Babana Island. Not Banana Island? Oh, Babana. That island that is around Abule Egba, close to one refuse dump”
“You no well.”
“When your house is dirty, and nothing is well kept, you’d breed rats, of course.”
“I don’t live in dirty surroundings. I am just taking precautions. And take my advice, also try and buy cats. Let’s kill all the rats in Nigeria.”
“I like that. Let’s kill the rats and save lives. But you don’t need cats, get a fumigator to drive all dangerous things away from your house: rats, cockroaches, mosquitoes.”
“The cost of fumigation has gone up. I hear fumigators are making serious gains now.”
“Very soon, the cost of cats will also rise. “
“Cats?”
“Yes. Don’t you know that everything is business in this country?”
“There are too many human rats out there ready to take advantage.”
“What do you mean human rats?”
“You don’t know some human beings are like rats, causing fever?
“You are speaking in tongues. Okay, name one human rat that you know.”
“I am looking at one right now.”
“Me?”
“Yes”
“No. I am not. You should be talking to those militants in the Niger Delta who are again sabotaging the country by blowing up oil installations, and giving the Federal Government conditions.”
“The Port Harcourt, Warri, and Kaduna refineries have been shut down due to pipeline vandalism. At this rate, we ‘d soon buy fuel at N200 per litre.”
“God knows we can’t afford another round of Niger Delta militancy. We have Boko Haram. We have the Biafra “secessionists.” And now Niger Delta militants are back to the creeks and trying to reverse the gains of the amnesty programme. In the end, we will all suffer for it.”
“Don’ t worry, those boys will be dealt with.”
“At what cost? It is better to nip the crisis in the bud.”
“How? By begging the militants? The Federal Government has made it clear that it will not succumb to blackmail.”
“Who is talking about blackmail?”
“Wahala today. Wahala tomorrow. This Nigeria sef.”
“Yes oh. They are even saying we will now pay stamp duty on all monies paid into our bank accounts once the amount is over N1, 000. When you add that to other bank charges, how much is left?”
“My friend, it is just N50.”
“It is not just N50. Why must I dash government money? Is government now begging for alms? Is it that bad? If I want to give anybody alms, it should be my decision.”
“There is a law called Stamp Duties Act. They want to enforce the law.”
“So, a bank is now a branch of the Post Office? If anybody posts money into my account, government will force me to buy stamp? And yet we want a cashless society? Very soon, people will stop doing electronic transfers.”
“Don’t be stingy. Be a good citizen.”
“N50 on every transaction. For people who run active accounts, that could amount to very heavy tax by the end of a month. You know what? I think they should just re-name the banks and call them post offices, since they are now selling stamps.”
“As in?”
“As in Zenith Post Office”
“Diamond Post Office”
“Union Post Office”.
“Na wa oh.” [myad]